Hi I'm Eliot
by WRTRD
Summary: You heard him talking in "Womb with a View." Now he's out of the womb and has even more to say. (Castle Summer Hiatus 2015 Ficathon Entry. I finished one, and because I seem to have misplaced my mind I'm doing another.) Enormous thanks to dtrekker for the absolutely perfect cover art. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** I found that I couldn't say goodbye to Eiiot, after all. So here he is, in his own story.

 **Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Hi. I'm Eliot. My whole name is Eliot Beckett-Castle. Remember me? Mom's last name is Beckett and Dad's last name is Castle. I get to have both of them. I was born last month. I used to live in a womb, which sounds like a room. It was kind of a room but it was really small. Now I live in a place called a loft. I'm glad because it is a lot roomier. Get it? That's a joke, I love to make up jokes! There's a lot more to do here, too. Anyway the loft has a lot of rooms. I have my own that is upstairs but I still stay in Mom's and Dad's downstairs with them until I'm a little older. Oh, and here's another funny thing. The street we live on is called Broome. Womb Room Broome, which is something called a rhyme. Like nursery rhymes, which I have a book of.

Speaking of books, my dad writes mysteries. My mom is a police detective. Dad's books are about Mom but she says they're not. Dad says Mom is his muse. I don't know what that is except yesterday he took me to a place called a museum and I thought it would be like Mom, but it didn't remind me of her at all. There was a huge dead animal right inside the door. It was the animal's bones. It looks like it wouldn't fit in our living room and we have a really huge living room. Dad said it was T Rex. Mom drinks T sometimes, but it is something called herbal T so I'm not sure if it is made from that animal. I hope not. She likes coffee better.

Can I tell you about my clothes? When I was living in the womb I didn't have any. I was naked all the time. Now I'm naked in my bath or when I get my diaper changed. Mostly I wear something called onesies, I think because they're one piece, not a lot of pieces like most people's clothes. I will have more pieces when I'm older. Mom showed me in my closet, lots of things. She says I'll grow into them. I like onesies. They have lots of colors and they're soft and stretchy. They have things on them too like puppies and bears and balls but my favorites are ones that have words. The best is one that says TALK TO ME. I like it because I talk all the time, but no one can hear me yet. I have to learn how to make the talk come out of my head through my mouth. Right now I talk inside my head which is why I am writing this story, so you can know what I'm talking about. Yesterday I got a new onesie that says I SPEAK GEEK. Mom laughed so hard when Dad gave it to her for me. I don't know what it means, yet but I'll tell you when I find out. It must be cool because they love it.

Here is my family, besides Mom and Dad. I have Gram, who is an actress. She lives around the corner from us so I get to see her all the time. She is Dad's Mom which I had a hard time figuring out at first. Dad used to be a baby like me and Gram is his Mom. I have Granddad who is a lawyer. He lives in New York City, like us, but farther away, so I don't see him as much as Gram. He is Mom's Dad. Mom used to be a baby, too. Also I have a sister Alexis who goes to college and lives in a dorm. She comes over for dinner sometimes and plays with me which is nice but I'd like someone more my own size. Well smaller. I want to be the boss. But I don't want to have a brother or sister right away. When I'm bigger. I want to have Mom and Dad all to myself for a while.

I'm going to tell you a secret, which is Dad is a lot like a kid. That's one reason I don't need a brother or sister yet. And Mom says not now, Castle, thank you very much. So I don't have to worry. Dad tells me about the adventures we will have and I believe him. He says we might get into scrapes. That sounds like fun except the other day Mom said she got a scrape on her knee and it really hurt. Now you can see why I get mixed up. Is a scrape good or bad? I like to hang out with Dad, who is very funny. Plus he is a boy like me. He is a man, but he is a boy. Mom say he's her big boy and I'm her little boy. Don't get me wrong because I love to hang out with Mom, too, but I was with her all the time when I was living in the womb. Now I get to spend some time just with Dad. But you know what? Mom feeds me and I love that. Just Mom and me. And sometimes she sings to me then and sometimes she tells me a story and sometimes she's quiet. And even though I know she can yell and be tough with bad guys, when I am with her she is so soft. She sounds soft and she feels soft. If anyone who is reading this remembers being a baby with a Mom then you might know what I am talking about.

Now I have been talking so much that I'm tired and need to take a nap. I would like to have a snack, too. Mom says I am a great nurser which is another thing I don't get because nurses were in the hospital when I was born. I am not a nurse. I am Eliot, a baby boy.

Next time I'll tell you about what I have been doing, now that you know about my family and where we live.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

This morning I was in my bouncy chair in the kitchen and Mom and Dad were having breakfast. You won't believe what happened. I thought I was in a horror movie.

"You're coming with us, right, Castle? I know how you feel about getting a shot, but I'm sure that Eliot's going to scream bloody murder. I don't want to be by myself for this if I can help it."

 _"_ _I'm getting shot? You're taking me to be shot?"_

"I have no problem with that anymore. Totally got over being squeamish about it. Don't even have to close my eyes. I will be right next to you while Eliot screams at the shot. I will even hold your hand."

 _"_ _Mom! Dad! I'm getting shot and you're going to watch?"_

Then Dad walked over and jiggled my bouncy chair and said. "Hi, buddy. You're going to be a brave boy today, aren't you? It's just a shot."

 _"_ _Just a shot? No! And I'm not waiting to scream, I'm going to scream right now."_

And then Dad jumped because I hollered right in his face.

But don't worry, everybody! It turns out they were taking me to the doctor to get something called shots so that I will be healthy all the time. It's not the same as shot by a gun. I know about that from before I was born when I went to crime scenes with Mom. There were dead bodies at them because people got shot. That's what I was afraid was going to happen to me. Good grief. There need to be different words for different things, not shot and shot.

The doctor kind of shot is good for you but I have to tell you, it's not fun. It hurts. A lot. The shot came from a needle, not a gun, and it didn't make any noise, but I did. Mom held me when I got the shot and I did scream. Dad said, "Poor kid. That must have hurt like a son of a bitch." And Mom said, "Castle! Language!" I know that son of a bitch is one of the things they aren't supposed to say in front of me. They don't usually, but they did sometimes before I was born. I heard them. And I heard Esposito say it a lot when I was at the precinct with Mom. I can't wait to see the precinct. I don't know anything about what it looks like except Gram said to Dad, "It's a dump, darling. Truly. You and Katherine deserve better. If only you'd let me in there, give it a little pep."

Sometimes I lose track of what I was saying. Sorry. At the doctor's I also got weighed and it turns out that I gained two pounds since I was born. The doctor said that was very good and "right on target." I don't know what that means, either. I only know about a target at the shooting range where Mom goes, and that's not it. See? There's another word that needs to be changed. Target and target. Plus I think there's another target because Mom told Alexis yesterday she liked the jacket she was wearing and Alexis said guess what I got it at target.

Sorry, I lost track of what I was saying again. There are so many things in my brain at once. Anyway, when we got in the car to go home after the doctor, here's what Mom and Dad said. They always sit in the front and I am in the back, but I can hear them just fine.

"I swear I need a drink, Beckett. You were a real trouper, much better than I was. I forgot how traumatic that is, seeing your child get a shot."

 _"_ _What about me, Dad? You didn't get some big needle stuck in you."_

"I wasn't a trouper, Castle, I was just trying to keep him calm. At least I know what to expect next time."

 _"_ _Next time? I have to get a shot again?"_

"Good thing he doesn't."

 _"_ _That's what you think."_

"You know what was the worst part for me? Seeing his beautiful, trusting blue eyes fill up with tears. And he looked so shocked."

After we got home and Mom fed me, she put me in the bassinet for a nap and I started wondering about my eyes. I have blue eyes. I see out of my eyes, right? So why doesn't everything look blue if I have blue eyes? I see other colors, not just blue. I wish I knew how to write so I could write this stuff down. I have a lot of questions, like target, target and target and shot and shot, and why doesn't everything look blue? Do things look the same to Mom as they do to Dad and me? Because her eyes are not blue like ours.

I was just falling asleep and I remembered something else. Mom likes to sing all kinds of songs and tunes. This morning she was singing something, well mostly she was humming so there were no words, but then she'd sing, "Don't it make my brown eyes blue?" And hum some more and then she'd sing it again, loud, "Don't it make my brown eyes blue."

So when I woke up from my nap and started making noises so she or Dad would come get me, I was hoping it would be Mom and it was. And she picked me up and said, "Hello, sweet pea," which she likes to call me even though I am Eliot, and I looked as hard as I could at her eyes. And you know what? Her eyes are still brown. They didn't turn blue. So that song doesn't make any sense.

Oh, and why don't I have one brown eye, from Mom, and one blue eye, from Dad? That doesn't make sense either.

That's all for now.

 **A/N** You came out in droves to welcome Eliot. Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

One reason I like breakfast time is that we are all in the kitchen together and Mom and Dad are very calm. That's when I like to watch them and listen to them and do some thinking, like I did today. Here's what I was wondering about this morning.

Mom and Dad take turns at everything. He cooks sometimes and she cooks other times. She drives the car and he drives the car. He reads to me, she reads to me. They both give me a bath, they both change me, they both play with me, they both take me out. They both do everything, except for one thing. Mom is the only one who feeds me, and that's because she has milk. Dad has nipples, so why doesn't he have milk, too? Then he could take turns feeding me. That's another thing I need to ask about when I can talk.

This morning he and I were in the kitchen first, by ourselves, because she was taking a shower.

"Don't tell Mom I'm doing this." Which was eating cereal right out of the box, not in a bowl. He loves cereal. "She doesn't like me to buy this sugary kind. It's bad for your teeth."

 _"_ _I don't have any teeth, Dad."_

"This is Cap'n Crunch, my favorite. See this guy?" He showed me the box, which has a guy with a blue hat and big white teeth that look very good, so maybe Mom is wrong. "That's Cap'n Crunch. Cap'n is short for Captain. The yellow letter on his hat is a C. C is for Cap'n and C is for Crunch. Our name begins with C, too, Castle. Mom should actually like this because she's going to be a captain when she goes back to work."

 _"_ _Maybe we could find some Cap'n Mom cereal."_

"I'd better put this away before she sees me. This is my secret, but I'm sharing it with you, shhhh. I hide it in the back of the top shelf of the cabinet so she doesn't know."

And then the funniest thing happened because Mom came in the kitchen all of a sudden and said, "Castle!"

"Oops!"

 _"_ _Busted, Dad!"_

"I hope you're not going to feed that to our son behind my back."

"He's too young to eat cereal, Beckett."

"Well, in another couple of months he'll be ready for it, but please make sure it's not that cereal."

So it was funny, but I also found out something important, which is that pretty soon I can eat cereal and Dad can feed me, too. Even if it isn't Cap'n Crunch.

Later on we went for a walk. Only I can't walk yet so I was in the stroller but Mom and Dad were walking. It was sunny, but it is colder now so I wore some outdoor clothes on top of my indoor clothes.

"Look how adorable he is in his little red hoody, Castle. He looks like an elf."

 _"_ _What's an elf?"_

"He does! Maybe he should be an elf for Hallowe'en."

 _"_ _You want me to turn into an elf? What's Hallowe'en?"_

And then we got to the coffee place and they had to order but they did say a little bit about an elf and I found out some about Hallowe'en. Dad didn't mean I would turn into an elf, but that he might put elf clothes on me for Hallowe'en. Only it would be called a costume, not clothes. Even though it is clothes. That's another thing I would write down to ask about if I could.

Here's how I found out more about Hallowe'en. After Mom and Dad got their coffee, Mom said,

"It's so beautiful. Let's go up to the Union Square farmers' market."

"Perfect. All those different kinds of apples. And cider. And cider doughnuts."

"I knew your mind might wander there."

"You're a cop. Your mind should automatically wander to doughnuts, Beckett. Oh, but you know what else? We need to get a pumpkin for Hallowe'en."

"A pumpkin? You're restricting yourself to one this year? Are we on some kind of austerity plan that I don't know about?"

 _"Do you eat pumpkins for Hallowe'en?"_

"Absolutely not. Austerity is never on the Castle menu. I was speaking generally. But yes, we need many pumpkins, as always. Pumpkin carving is one of my favorite parts of Hallowe'en, making them so awesome they scare the crap out of people."

 _"Oh, you make scary things out of pumpkins and you don't eat them?"_

"Language, Castle."

"Crap is a perfectly acceptable alternative for the word I was going to use."

 _"_ _I bet I know what that word is, Dad. Ha!"_

"Okay, so pumpkins. We can fit some in the stroller basket and you can carry more in a bag."

We went to a place at the market where they had so many pumpkins! Dad got a little one just my size and then some big ones. Two farmers were helping us and one of them looked at me in the stroller.

"Hey, pumpkin, how are you?"

 _"_ _I'm Eliot, not pumpkin. Sometimes Dad calls my sister pumpkin. I bet it's because of her hair, which is the same color as a pumpkin. "_

So that was something I figured out today, why Dad calls Alexis pumpkin. I don't know why the farmer called me that, though, because my hair is the same color brown as a chestnut, which we also got at the market. So the farmer could have said, "Hi, chestnut," since she didn't know my name is Eliot. I can't tell you anything else that happened until we got home because I fell asleep in the stroller when Mom was rocking it with her foot.

When we got home I had to eat and while Mom and I were in the rocking chair Dad sat on the bed and started to talk about Hallowe'en.

"Do you think we can have trick-or-treaters or will it scare him?"

"I think it'll be okay as long as they don't yell 'Trick or treat!' or 'Boo!' We could put a sign on the door asking them not to."

"I have to start planning the candy."

 _"_ _Now you're talking, Dad. There's going to be candy?"_

Mom was burping me. "Seriously? You have to plan the candy?"

I was looking over Mom's shoulder and I could see Dad's mouth was open wide like he was very surprised at what she said.

"Plan? Of course I have to plan. It's one of the most important elements of greatness of the holiday. What do you do when you buy candy for Hallowe'en?"

"Uh, go to the drug store and get a couple of bags of mini Snickers and m&ms? Besides, before we were together I wasn't usually home, I was usually at work trying to manage the crazies."

I was still watching Dad while Mom was patting my back. He grabbed his chest and fell over on their bed. "Beckett! No! Those two candies are choco-peanut centric. They can't be the only things you give the trick-or-treaters. There are so many other things you have to consider, like coconut and fruit flavors and almonds and mint and things that fizz in your mouth and things on sticks and fireballs and gummy candies. Soft things, hard things, chewy things. Candy corn, but only in the proper colors, which are yellow, orange and white."

By then Mom had finished burping me. I was in her lap resting against her and she put one of her arms out straight and said, "Stop! I yield to your candy expertise." And they both started laughing and laughing.

Dad sat up and came and got me. "Wait 'til you see how great our candy is, Eliot, even if you don't get to eat it 'til next Hallowe'en. And you will have the best costume of any of the trick-or-treaters."

"You're going to be our elf."

"Beckett! I know! We can dress him up as the Elf on the Shelf!"

"The Elf on the Shelf is a Christmas tradition, Castle."

"But that's the beauty of it. It combines my favorite holiday, Christmas, with my second favorite, Hallowe'en. And Eliot can sit on a shelf!"

 _"_ _A shelf? Dad! I will fall off!"_

"Castle, he'll be just short of ten weeks old. He'll fall off a shelf."

"Not if I hold him there. Or have a tiny shelf built and glue his elf onesie to it and carry him around that way."

They were still talking about it when I went to sleep. I think I will like being an elf, though. The first part sounds like Eliot. Eliot Elf. That's me!

 **A/N** Eliot says he is very happy that so many people are reading his story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Here is my question about fall. Why is it called fall? We went to the park yesterday and Mom and Dad kept talking about how beautiful the leaves were. They are orange and red and yellow.

"I think fall is my favorite season, Castle."

"Really? Not summer?"

"Summer in New York? Not a chance. Even if we didn't live here, though, fall would probably be my favorite. I love that the air feels layered, with cool on top of warm, and the light is so gorgeous. It always feels like the beginning of a new year to me, maybe because I still associate it with a new year of school starting."

"Did you fall for me in the fall?"

Mom laughed. "I think I did, Castle."

I thought fall meant a bad thing, when people fall down and hurt themselves. So I was confused when Dad asked Mom did she fall and she thought it was funny. I wondered about it all day yesterday and here is what I decided. It is called fall because the leaves fall off the trees. That is the only thing I can think of for it. When I know how to talk, I'll find out for sure.

The night before we went to the park we had a big rainstorm. We were in the living room and there was so much noise from the sky.

"This storm remind you of anything, Beckett?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Would you care to revisit it? Minus your hanging off the roof before, of course."

 _"_ _Mom was hanging off the roof? Why would she do that?"_

"You do have the best ideas, Castle. Just let me put Eliot to bed."

And she did and I don't know what that was all about. Anyway, the next morning, which was yesterday morning, when we left to go the park I saw the little tree that is by our building. The storm made almost all the leaves come off the tree and so it looks naked! Leaves are like its clothes and now it doesn't have any. Why do people love fall if it takes the clothes off trees?

Oh also Gram came to dinner with us yesterday and she was talking about a fall she used to have in the old days before Dad was born. She said she loved to wear it "because of the versatility it gave me in terms of my hair." I don't know what she was talking about, either. So that is another question about fall.

That was what happened yesterday but today there were other things. The most important was guess what? I found out THERE IS ANOTHER ELIOT. I will tell you how I did.

In the morning I was lying between Mom and Dad in their big bed which I like better than the bassinet even though there is no mobile for me to look at. They were drinking their coffee and Mom said, "We need to begin exposing Eliot to the classics."

"I hope you're not going to start reading him _Crime and Punishment_."

"I think an appropriate classic for him at the moment is more like _Goodnight Moon_ or _Moo, Baa, La La La!_ , Castle."

 _"_ _Those are my favorite ones, Mom! How did you know that?"_

"I have already begun classical exposure, remember? I took him to the Museum of Natural History the other day just so he could see T Rex."

 _"_ _The dead animal bones."_

"That's a good one, but I was thinking more about music and art. I should start playing classical music for him, and take him to some museums and galleries. See how he reacts to everything. He always seems to be soaking everything in, you know? He's such a little sponge."

 _"_ _Sponge? Isn't that a thing in my bath sometimes? I am not a sponge."_

Dad put his mug down. "You know what? We should start him on some classic movies. Never too early for that."

"Your list doesn't include, oh, _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ , does it?"

"No, but it does include those two John Woo movies, remember? The ones we never got around to watching that night?" He reached over me and grabbed Mom's hand. "And before you protest, no, I'm not going to let him watch _The Killer_ or _Hard Boiled_. I'm just noting, for the record, that they're classics."

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Of course. Barring the occasional lapse, you have impeccable taste in movies. After all, you were the one who took me to see _Forbidden Planet_ before we were dating. So, what's your suggestion?"

I was looking up at Mom then and she had a really big smile. " _E.T._ One of my all-time favorites."

Even though Dad was sitting in bed he started jumping around and the bed was bouncing and I was bouncing. "Of course! Beckett, you are a genius! It's perfect. We have to watch it right now. I'm going to set it up." And he ran out of the bed and the room and Mom was calling him but he kept right on going.

"Your father is a man possessed, Eliot," she said. I don't know what that means. But then she carried me to the sofa. "Castle. It's seven o'clock in the morning."

He was holding that thing for the TV and he turned around and said, "Sit down and get comfy and I'll be right back with some fruit and bagels. Remember that old series on TBS, _Dinner and a Movie_? This is breakfast and a movie, much better." And I didn't think that Mom would do that but she did. She sat right down with me and then Dad came back with things for them to eat and he sat down next to us and put a blanket over Mom's feet.

And then the movie started and it had really great music and here was the big big big surprise. The main person in the movie is Eliot! There is another Eliot! He is a boy with brown hair like me. I tried to stay awake but it was my nap time and I would fall asleep but every time I opened my eyes there was the other Eliot and one time he was even on a flying bicycle. But the last time I woke up it was the end of the movie and Mom was crying. I didn't know Mom could cry. But she was crying and happy at the same time. So I had two days with a lot of confusing things like that.

"I wonder if he liked the movie."

 _"_ _I did. And I liked that there is another Eliot and his best friend is from outer space."_

"Of course he did, Beckett. He's our son."

 _"Maybe I'll get to have a friend from outer space someday since my name is Eliot."_

"That last scene always gets to me, you know? When E.T. says to Eliot, 'I'll be right here'." And Mom started crying all over again but smiling and she picked me up and said, "I'll be right here, Eliot."

 _"_ _Me too, Mom."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

The best part of our Hallowe'en party was when I spat up all over Espo's costume. I will tell you in a minute.

For Hallowe'en our loft had all kinds of decorations like carved pumpkins and bats and ghosts hanging from the ceiling. Dad says ghosts are real and Mom says no, they aren't, but anyway the ones we had were pretend but they looked real to me. Before we had the party we had trick-or-treaters. I didn't cry even at the scary ones like the boy who had an ax in his head and blood because Mom and Dad said it was just pretend. Dad also told the boy that his costume was outstanding which I think meant he liked it. Mom told Dad he had an excellent candy plan. So it was fun but not fun like the party that was later.

The party was for the people Mom and Dad work with at the precinct. Everybody wore a costume and there was a theme. A theme is when things are alike but not. Like if we had a theme for breakfast and it was fruit we would have apples and bananas and blueberries and melon but not eggs or toast because they are not fruit. I love milk but I miss things like apples and eggs. Before I was born I got to have stuff like that all the time because Mom ate them. Now I don't get to but I will. Starting with cereal pretty soon. I wonder what kind it will be? Maybe Rice Krispies. Mom likes those and they make a lot of noises all by themselves, not just when you're chewing them which is amazing. All the other food I've seen is quiet until you chew it. Especially bubble bum which Dad has some times and cracks it and blows a giant bubble and then pops it.

Oops, I'm sorry. I got talking about food again.

The theme for the Hallowe'en costumes was Your Favorite Invention. Mom and Dad talked about their costumes for a long time. I paid a lot of attention to what they were saying.

"The printing press, Beckett, that's it. Has to be my costume."

"Don't you think that's a little elaborate? How would you even wear it?"

"You know what? If I'm the printing press, you could be—"

"Don't even say it. I am not dressing up as the Gutenberg Bible."

"That's not what I was going to say."

"Oh, really?"

 _"_ _Mom, you think Dad didn't mean that, right? Because your voice is different when you say 'oh, really?' like that."_

"I was going to suggest that you come as Nikki Heat."

"Oh, God, I'd rather come as the Bible. What other ideas do you have?"

"You could be the saxophone, because you love it and you're very, very saxy."

"Moving along, Castle."

"A parking meter? Invented in 1932 in the USA. It would be a throwback to your early days on the beat."

"I was never a meter maid, Castle. What else?"

"Airplane? Bluejeans? Toothbrush? Computer? The wheel? The thong?"

"The thong! Are you crazy?"

"The thong has been around for millennia, but the modern-day version came to be right here in our beloved city. So if you chose that you'd also be displaying civic pride."

"I'm more than sure that you're going to tell me the story, Castle."

"I am."

 _"_ _Yay! Dad tells great stories."_

"Okay, I'm listening. This had better be good."

 _"_ _Duh, Mom, of course it will be good."_

"Fiorello LaGuardia."

"The mayor? The mayor invented the modern thong?"

"Not exactly invented. But in 1939 he insisted that nude dancers no long appear entirely nude by covering up a little with a thong."

"So at least they could still be cheeky."

"You bet your ass, Beckett. Atta girl! What do you say?"

"Not a chance, bud. I wouldn't mind wearing a costume that was paired with yours, though. I like that idea."

"How about a lock and key? Great invention from four thousand years ago and very fitting for those in law enforcement."

 _"_ _Mom, did you just throw a pillow at Dad? Why did you do that?"_

"Obscene suggestion, Castle."

"How about you're a bottle of ink—which by the way was invented five hundred years before the thong—and I could be a fountain pen?"

"Between this and the lock and key, I'm sensing a theme within a theme. No, ix-nay, nyet."

 _"_ _I know what no is. What are the other things? Is ix-nay an invention?"_

"You know what your Russian does to me, Beckett."

"This conversation is done."

 _"_ _I bet it isn't. Cause you didn't figure out your costumes yet."_

They must have figured out their costumes one of the times I was sleeping. So I didn't know what they chose until the party and it was a surprise for me. There were lots of good costumes, like LT who was wearing a whole jacket made out of handcuffs and when he walked around he clanked. And Ryan who was standing next to Mom. He was a Thermos that you have coffee in.

"A Thermos?" Mom asked.

"The savior of many a stakeout."

She laughed at that. She loves coffee. Dad says she's a coffee nut, but I think he's kidding because coffee is a drink, not a nut. Anyway she was dressed up like the cappuccino machine in our kitchen. She was all silvery and had buttons and dials painted on her. Plus her costume said DANGEROUS EXTREMELY HOT. She didn't want that part but Dad had it put there. And you know what? Dad was a doughnut! So they were coffee and a doughnut! He was inside a big soft ring thing that was covered in fake sugar and looked just like a giant doughnut.

Dad was carrying me around and he went to talk to Espo. His costume made him look like a gun!

"Nice one, Espo, you're The Peacemaker?"

"Yup, Colt .45. The revolver that got things going." But then he looked at Dad and poked him in the shoulder, or where his shoulder usually is. "Seriously, bro, a doughnut? You making fun of cops? How is that even an invention?"

"Several countries claim to have invented the doughnut, 'sito, but what codified it, what made it readily available to everyone, was the invention of the doughnut _machine_ in 1920. By a Russian refugee in New York City. I'm trying to see if the city will put a plaque at the site."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, great party, man, but lame costume."

 _"_ _Hey! I know you love doughnuts so that is mean."_

I could tell that made Dad mad but he didn't say anything. He took me over to Mom to hold for a while because he had to go do stuff with the food. Mom was talking to Lanie, whose costume was a giant picture of a stethoscope. And then Esposito walked up like he was following me around.

"Weird choice for a costume, Lanie." He did not sound very nice.

"I'm a doctor, Javier, so I don't know why it's a weird choice."

"Because you work with dead people. Never need to listen to a heart."

See? He was being mean about Lanie's costume, too. So I thought of a plan right then and I put my hand out towards Espo like I wanted to say hi and it worked. He said, "Hey, Eliot is waving at me."

"Must like you," Mom said. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Sure." And then he was bouncing me around which wasn't smart but it was good for my plan. And I threw up right on his gun costume!

"Oh, Espo, I'm so sorry."

 _"_ _I'm not. Ha! Serves him right for being mean to Dad and Lanie."_

Espo went and cleaned off his costume. Mom said she thought it was past my bedtime and went to put me to bed and I could tell she was trying not to laugh about what I did, even though she said she was sorry.

So that was my first Hallowe'en and next year I will know how to say "trick or treat" and get candy. Oh, I forgot to tell you about my second costume, the one for the party. I wore a onesie with a lightbulb on it because Mom and Dad said I was their best idea ever. Do you get that?

 **A/N** Thank you for keeping up with Eliot! We appreciate all of you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Mom was trying to feed me but I didn't want to. You probably think I'm fibbing because I talk about food a lot, but I'm telling you the truth. Or maybe you think somebody else is writing the story all of a sudden, not me. But it's me, Eliot.

This is how it started a couple of days ago after I woke up. Mom said "Good morning, sweet pea," to me which is how I knew it wasn't night time even though it was dark. We went in the living room and got in the big chair because she didn't want to wake up Dad. She whispered to me, "He's stacking Zs."

I don't know all the letters, but I remember Z is for Zebra in my alphabet book. I bet a zebra would be a nice pet. Anyway, I didn't see any Zs anywhere. Dad just looked like he was sleeping to me.

Mom and I were in the chair and I kept pushing my head away from her nipple because I didn't want any milk. I felt bad because it made her look upset.

"You don't want to nurse, Eliot? That's never happened before."

 _"_ _I'm not hungry."_

"Poor baby, you don't feel well do you?"

 _"_ _No, I don't."_

"I wish you could tell me what's the matter."

 _"_ _I'm trying. You just don't understand me. Watch out, Mom, I'm gonna sneeze."_

"Oh, bless you."

 _"_ _I'm gonna sneeze some more. Maybe a whole bunch of times."_

And I did.

"Aw, baby, I know what's wrong."

What's wrong is that I have "a cold." That's what Mom said. She cuddled me for a while and kept kissing me on my forehead. Then she got up and made some coffee and we went back to the bedroom. "We're taking this coffee to Dad and we're going to tell him you have a cold."

 _"_ _Why is it called that? Because it is cold outside now? Do you get a cold from the cold? I like the cold when we go out but I don't like_ my _cold."_

"Castle? You awake?"

"Sorta. Kinda. Do you have coffee?"

"I have coffee and Eliot. He's sick."

Dad sat right up in bed so fast I thought he might fall out, and his eyes were open very wide.

"What! What's wrong?"

"It's a cold. Little guy didn't want to nurse. Here, take him. I don't think he has a fever, but you can tell he's miserable. I'm going to get the thermometer."

Then quick as anything Dad was holding me and he kissed me on the forehead, too. But then he got up and took me to the changing table.

"Let's get your jammies off, Eliot, and your diaper."

 _"_ _Why? My diaper is fine, Dad."_

Just then Mom showed up right next to me holding a funny looking stick.

"Do you want to do it while I distract him, Castle?"

"Sure, since I've already got him here. Can you put some lube on the tip for me, please?"

"Already done. Is he going to cry?

 _"_ _Am I going to cry? Wait, what is Dad going to do to me?"_

"He might, but it won't hurt. Hang on, I'll just lift his legs up a bit higher and then pass the thermometer to me."

 _"_ _Why are you lifting my legs up? What are you doing with that stick?"_

"Hey, Eliot, look at me, Sweet Pea. Can you make a funny face like this?"

 _"_ _I don't want to see a funny face, Mom. I want to see what Dad is doing."_

"Don't wiggle. Be a good boy. How about if I sing you a song?"

 _"_ _How about if you and Dad tell me what he's doing?"_

Then Mom started singing and it was my favorite song so I was listening and then Dad said "all done" and guess what it didn't hurt!

"It's only ninety-nine degrees, which doesn't qualify as a fever, so that's good. I don't think we need to go to the doctor."

 _"_ _The doctor? Where I got shot the other day? NO."_

Later that day I couldn't breathe right out of my nose so Mom called the doctor. I got to stay home but Dad went and got stuff to help me. My nose was having all this icky stuff coming out of it. That's what happens when you have a cold. Sometimes it's stuck in there and then Mom or Dad put drops in my nose and then they have a little thing they use which sucks the stuff out. Mom calls it mucus and Dad calls it snot but I think they're the same thing. Snot and mucus are horrible and gross but I feel better when Mom or Dad get them out with that thing. Also I cough. I hate it, but especially if I am eating and I have to stop and the milk is spraying all over the place when I cough and it goes on Mom and me and she has to put me in clean clothes. But at least I'm hungry now.

This morning Dad went shopping and Mom did something weird. She took off her clothes and my clothes and we were both naked. I could hear the shower in the bathroom next to us but nobody was in there. But then she wrapped us up together in a big big big towel and held me while we sit on a bench in the bathroom. We did not go in the shower, we were just next to it and it was making so many clouds it was hard to see.

"Does this feel better, Eliot? Is that steam helping you?"

 _"_ _It's hot in here, Mom. But this feels nice."_ And I think I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes I was dressed and in my bouncy chair by the sofa with Dad.

Here is the good part about having a cold, especially since I am almost well now, which is I get to snuggle in bed with Mom and Dad. I am all wrapped up tight and am in between them. It is very cozy.

"Look at our papoose," Mom said.

"Cutest papoose ever," Dad said.

Papoose? I guess I have another name now. I was Eliot Elf and now I am Eliot Papoose. I like that.

 **A/N** And now, a special message from Eliot. "Sgoernoi mmstep lthp!" And for the confused reader who just asked: no, that was not a thermometer for the ear! Add an r to the beginning of the word ear.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

This is a story about the huge elephant in the room. Oh, and the giant giraffe.

Yesterday morning I was on my baby gym mat on the living room floor and Dad was reading the newspaper. All of a sudden he shook it and snapped it shut very hard so I could see he was really mad at it. Mom was reading another part of the paper and wasn't paying attention to him.

"This is outrageous, Beckett."

She looked over at him when he said that. "What?"

Dad held up the part of the paper that made him mad so she could see. "Look at this. How could this happen? I feel as if I should dress in black for the next month. Put a black wreath on our front door. Maybe black bunting."

"I know. It's sad."

"Sad? You think this is sad? Sad is. Sad is—well, I'm too upset even to think of any examples at the moment. But this is beyond sad. This is yet another chapter in an epic tragedy that is the disappearance of the New York City of our childhood."

I thought Mom was trying not to laugh but she made her face go all serious. "Well, if you put it like that, yes. Yes, another nail in the coffin."

 _"_ _What are you guys talking about?"_

"Not just any nail. It's a nail called FAO Schwarz."

 _"_ _What's FAO Schwarz?"_

"Mmh-hmm."

"It's closing. Do you realize that our son will grow up not knowing what FAO Schwarz is? Never have the opportunity to explore the castle, if you will, of toy stores?"

 _"_ _FAO Schwarz is a toy store? And it's a Castle? That's our name so does it belong to us? Why can't I explore it?"_

"But there are FAO Schwarz boutiques inside some Toys R Us stores, aren't there?"

"That's not the point, Beckett. The _store_ is closing this week. It's been in Manhattan since right after the Civil War. Its giant keyboard was an iconic scene of the movie _Big_. Future generations who see it will not understand the cultural significance of Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia playing "Chopsticks" on that piano with their feet. And _Mighty Aphrodite_ , Woody Allen's _Mighty Aphrodite_. Last scene was there."

Dad looked so sad I thought that he was going to cry and I have never ever seen him do that. Mom slid right over to where Dad was and gave him a big kiss and ruffled his hair like she does mine.

"You're really upset about this, aren't you?"

"I am. When I was a kid and we didn't have any money I'd go in there and watch the electric trains for hours. Nobody minded or made me move. They had that enormous layout for the trains, remember? So cool."

And then Mom stood up and got me and held me way up in the air. "Eliot, we're going on an adventure. To FAO Schwarz." And then she turned her head and gave Dad a different kind of smile. "You coming, Castle?"

Boy, you should have seen Dad jump! He was so excited! "I'm ready! Wait, I just have to put on socks and shoes. Are you ready? Let me check the time. Oh, it's almost eight-thirty so the store opens in an hour and a half. Let's go!"

"You want to go right now? It's Sunday, so there's hardly any traffic. We'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"That's the idea. We'll be the first ones in line! We can wait outside and look at everything in the windows 'til they open the doors."

And in about a minute we had our jackets on and were in the elevator to go get in the car.

"Maybe I should drive, Castle. You might be too excited to operate a moving vehicle."

"I could do bumper cars."

"Exactly. Toss me the keys, please."

Dad was right. We were the first people at the store. It is so big! Mom had me in the carrier on her front and I could see all the toys from where we were. When we finally got inside Dad said we absolutely positively had to go to the piano in the floor first so Mom said yes. When we found it Dad jumped right on and jumped around on the black and white things.

"Look at Dad, Eliot. Whenever his foot is on one of the white keys or the black keys it lights up."

 _"_ _I don't think those are keys, Mom. They don't look like what turns on the car or opens our door. I think you might be mixed up."_

"Beckett, get on here with me so we can play 'Chopsticks'."

"Seriously? With the baby? He'll throw up."

 _"_ _No I won't. I promise. I want to do it."_

"We'll be gentle. We don't have to jump up and down like Tom Hanks."

"Okay, I'll try it. I didn't know you could play the piano, Castle."

" 'Chopsticks' is the extent of my repertoire, what about you?"

"Six years of lessons."

Dad stopped right there on two black and white things and his mouth was wide open. "What! How did I not know this?"

"You never asked, so I didn't tell. Let's go, Castle. We might be the first trio ever to play 'Chopsticks'."

And then Mom and Dad were on the piano in the floor and we made music come out of our feet! Well not my feet because I was in the carrier, but Mom and Dad's feet. But that wasn't even the best part. When we finished they were laughing and then Mom asked Dad to hold me. She unbuckled the carrier and he put it on. Mom got back on the floor piano all by herself and she started kind of dance walking on it and music came out of her feet and she was singing! She looked right at Dad and me the whole time.

"Those fingers in my hair  
That sly come-hither stare  
That strips my conscience bare  
It's witchcraft."

And when she finished it turned out there were all these people standing around watching and I didn't even know they were there. And they all clapped and clapped for Mom and her face got pink. And she came back to Dad and me and they hugged so tight I was nearly squished in between them.

After that we walked all around the store, but there were so many people in there it was getting hard.

"One more stop, Beckett."

"Okay, but that's my limit. Home after that."

"You won't be sorry."

The place where we went was full of stuffed animals, the biggest ones I've ever seen. We looked at all of them and patted them. Mom's favorite was a big elephant that was so soft. She put me on top of it for a minute so I could have a ride. Dad's favorite was a giraffe which is so tall it is much taller than Dad.

"You know I have to do this, don't you? Both of them. We have plenty of room."

 _"_ _Room for what, Dad?"_

Mom put her forehead on Dad's shoulder. "I do, Castle."

A nice lady who is called a sales person came over and said, "May I help you?"

"You may, thank you. We'd like the elephant and the giraffe, please. We'll take the elephant with us, but the giraffe is too big for our car, so we'll have to have that delivered. They're for our son. This is Eliot."

"Hi, Eliot. You're a lucky boy. We'll have the giraffe sent to you tomorrow."

 _"_ _Thanks, Mom and Dad!"_

And Dad paid the lady and then we walked to our car. Mom carried me and Dad carried the elephant, who rode all the way home in the back seat with me. And now you know the story of the huge elephant in the room. And the giant giraffe.

P.S. Last night when Mom was feeding me she told me a big secret about something. Something we are going to give Dad for Christmas. It is a secret so I can't tell you, but you'll find out.

 **A/N** I always figured that FAO Schwarz would be paradise for Castle. Since the store really did close a few days ago (July 15th), I decided to use it as a basis for a chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Today is going to be exciting because I am going to the precinct for the first time in my life. I used to go there all the time with Mom, but that was when I was in a womb so I don't know what anything looks like. I know what a lot of the people look like, though, because they have come to visit me. But not everybody. Like Doctor Perlmutter. I'll finish this story when we get home. I'm just telling you now because I can't wait to go.

It's taking a long time to get ready because Mom can't decide what I should wear. She has looked at about a zillion things which is very boring.

"Castle, I can't put him in something that someone from the precinct gave him because it would hurt the feelings of everyone else who sent things."

"Okay, I understand that, but could I make one suggestion?"

Mom is making a not-happy face and blowing some hair off her forehead. "Go ahead."

"The black-and-white striped onesie with the yellow crown and the yellow letters that say KING OF THE CASTLE. It should fit him now."

 _"_ _Wow! How come I've never seen that?"_

"I love that, but Gates gave it to him."

"Exactly. She's about to retire and having him wear this today would be a really nice gesture."

Now Mom looks happy. "That's a great idea. Thank you. And I'll put a yellow shirt under it and yellow socks."

And guess what, it fits! Now we can go. It's about time.

Hey! I'm back! I am so tired from everything we did that I need to take a nap, but before that I have to tell you all about it, especially the new friend I met.

First of all was the elevator. It's so slow and it looks like it's about a million years old and it makes funny creaky noises. I remember the noises from before but they're worse now. Louder. When we got off on our floor there were so many desks. Not like Dad's office which has only one. And so many people, too. Some of them wear uniforms and some wear regular clothes like Mom, Dad and me. Also I could hear a guy hollering a lot of bad words, but I couldn't see him. Someone said, "He's in holding." Holding what? I don't know.

"Let's put our things here at my desk, Castle."

 _"_ _This is your desk? There's the chair where I sat with you for such a long time. And Dad's chair which has a torn part. I think it's older than the elevator. Your desk is neat, though."_

Mom and Dad took their coats off, and mine. And then Mom said "Oh!" and put her hand over her mouth and I was afraid something bad had happened but she pointed at her desk and said, "Look!"

 _"_ _Hey, it's a picture of you guys and me! Look how little I am."_

"Lanie took that in the hospital. She must have gotten it framed and left it here when she found out that we were coming in. She's off today, and that's so sweet."

We walked over right away to see Ryan and Esposito. Their desks are next to each other's and they look a lot like Mom's except they don't have my picture on them.

"You working on a case, guys?"

"Yeah, bro, but we're stuck. I hate to say it, but we could use one of your Loony Tune ideas right now."

"Beckett, I'm going to take a look at the murder board. Wait, are there any gory photos? Don't want Eliot to see those."

"Nope, just DMV shots, time line, things like that."

Now I know what the murder board looks like. I thought it was a wall but it just looks like a wall and it has wheels. It has a lot of photos and things written under them and a time line, which is a long line with little lines sticking up out of it so you can keep track of what happened. And sometimes that's how you know when people have lied so that's very good. Dad was jiggling me up and down a little bit while he looked and Ryan and Esposito told him and Mom about the case which I didn't understand. That's okay because I just like to look.

"What do you think, Eliot?" Mom said.

 _"_ _Ii-ii aa-a aaa."_

And Dad said, "Really? I think that's Eliot babble talk for 'Interesting case'."

 _"_ _No, I said who's that funny-looking guy with the hat?"_

And then Dad got a little closer and I wanted to feel what the board is like so I was slapping my hand on it and then I slapped the guy on the hat in the picture.

And Ryan said, "Dude! That's our number-one suspect! Way to go, Eliot."

"Are you in the market for another civilian consultant? Because I think you just got one."

 _"_ _Is that me, Dad?"_

"Castle, you want to stay here and talk about the case? And I'll take the baby and go see Captain Gates."

 _"_ _I want to stay and be a civilian consultant."_

So Mom and I went to the Captain's office. I thought it might be scary because she used to sound scary a lot of the time when I was here before, but it was nice. It has windows even though it's inside and you can see everywhere from in there, even Mom's desk.

"Beckett, Kate, please come in. And Eliot. It's wonderful to see you. Motherhood suits you."

"Thank you, Sir. I wanted to check in with you personally. And did you see what Eliot is wearing today? He just now grew into it, so this is its premiere. It's adorable. Thank you again."

"You're welcome. Anytime you want to talk with me, just call. I hope you know that you may, and I hope you will. While you're still on leave, or afterwards. Anything I can do to help. Because, face it, I'm the only one here who's been where you are now and where you're going."

"I know, Sir, and I appreciate that. You can't imagine."

"Actually, I can. And since you're officially on leave, and since you now have the same rank as I, even though you haven't been sworn in yet, please forget the Sir. It's Victoria. Gates, if you're uncomfortable with Victoria."

Mom started laughing. I don't know, why since Captain Gates didn't say anything funny. But she's smiling, so that's nice. Plus she gave me these clothes and I like being king. "Did you ever think this day would come, Si—Victoria? We got off on such a terrible foot and look at us now."

 _"_ _What happened to your foot?"_

"I think we each put ourselves in the other's shoes, Kate."

 _"You put your foot in Captain Gates's shoes?_ _I never saw you wearing her shoes, Mom. That must have happened before I was born."_

"Good thing we both like four-inch heels, isn't it?"

And then they were laughing so hard I thought I was going to slide right off Mom's lap. Are shoes funny? Maybe I'll find out when I get some. So far I just have clothes.

Dad knocked on the door to see if anybody wanted coffee. I waved my arms around so he would know I wanted to go with him and he did! That was how I got to go to the place I wanted to see the most. It's called the break room even though I never heard anybody break anything there. It has a coffee machine like the one we have at home and a lot of other things. Mom used to come in here with me all the time so she could smell the coffee because she wasn't allowed to have very much with me inside. And she used to lie down on the sofa in here. It is not as nice as our sofa at home and it's kind of lumpy but we had good naps on it.

Dad made a whole bunch of coffee for everybody and told Mom he was sorry that we weren't going to go see Lanie and right then a man got off the elevator and said, "A morgue is no place for a baby, Mister Castle." I thought his voice might belong to Doctor Perlmutter and I was right because Dad turned right around very fast.

"Perlmutter!"

"Hi, Perlmutter," Mom said. "What a surprise. We seldom see you up here."

Doctor Perlmutter was kind of moving his feet around like he wanted them to take him somewhere else.

"Rumor had it that you were here, Detective Beckett, and I wanted to take the opportunity to meet your son. Uh, congratulations, by the way."

Dad was whispering but I could hear him. "Yeah, you won two thousand four hundred seventy bucks on him, so you should be thanking him."

"Thank you. Here he is. Meet Eliot Beckett-Castle."

"Might I hold him, Detective?"

Dad made this noise like he was strangling. Mom said, "Of course."

She handed me to Doctor Perlmutter and he held me exactly right. And he tickled me and told me a great joke right in my ear which made me laugh.

"You're, um, a real natural with him, Perlmutter." I could see Mom touch her foot to Dad's. "Isn't he, Castle?"

 _"_ _He is so funny! Is that why everybody's staring at him and me?"_

"Definitely."

Dad didn't sound like he meant it but I wanted him to know I like Doctor Perlmutter so I patted him on the cheek. He reached into his pocket and took something out and gave it to Mom. "I have a little something for Eliot. I hope he doesn't have it already. I know the spelling is different."

Mom took the paper off and said, "Oh! _Little Elliott, Big City_. No, he doesn't have it and it's supposed to be a wonderful book. Look, Eliot, it's about an elephant who has the same name as you." She held the book up so I could see it and it reminded me of my elephant at home.

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Perlmutter. That's so sweet."

I don't know what happened but it seemed like Dad, Ryan and Esposito all got a cold right then because they all started coughing. While they were doing that Doctor Perlmutter handed me back to Mom. "He's a lovely boy, Detective. It will be nice to have you back. Goodbye, Eliot." And then he left.

It was so quiet! And then Mom said, "Really? Close your mouths, boys."

We got our coats on and drove home and it was weird because Dad didn't say a word the whole way until we got into our kitchen. And he just stood there and said, "Am I dreaming?"

 _"_ _No, Dad. You're awake. Can we invite Doctor Perlmutter to come over?"_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Right now I have two big questions. You probably think all I do is ask questions, but there are so many things I don't know that I have to ask. So, here is my first question today. Why do people who are not babies talk something they call baby talk? Like "dipsy oogla," which I would never say and I am a baby. It doesn't make any sense.

Here's what I mean. Two days ago I was in my stroller in the supermarket with Mom. We were in the part where they sell vegetables and she was buying carrots. There was a lady standing next to us who said, "Oh, what a darling baby. He's a boy isn't he?"

"Yes, he is. Eliot."

 _"_ _Lalalalalalala oh lalala."_

"Lalalala to you, too, Eliot. You're saying you like carrots, right? I bet you love carrots. I do, too."

 _"_ _What? No, no, no, I'm saying, 'Don't forget the ice cream.' Dad put two kinds on Mom's list but I don't think she noticed because she walked right past the ice cream part of the store without stopping."_

And then the lady was leaving and waved at me and said "Toodle-ooski," which I guess she thinks is baby talk but I never heard any baby say it, did you?

Mom is smart about real baby talk. She just says it back to me like she's trying to learn it and remember later. She never says she knows what I'm saying, the way Dad does. Like yesterday morning she was putting my clothes on and doing the snaps on the legs.

 _"_ _Ahhh ah o lolo!"_

"Ahhh ah o lolo!" Mom said, and she grabbed my feet and made my legs go up and down. "Ahhh ah o lolo!" And then she tickled my tummy and said, "I wish I knew what that meant, Eliot. 'Ahhh ah o lolo.' Maybe when you're bigger you'll tell me."

 _"_ _It means 'Don't let those snaps pinch me, please', Mom."_

And then she snapped the snaps and they didn't pinch me, so maybe she really does know what ahhh ah o lolo means even though she thinks she doesn't. Dad always says Mom is really good at languages.

Okay, here is my other question for today. WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT COSMO?

Today is Thanksgiving. All week Mom and Dad have been getting ready for it. It is a holiday and all I know about it is that people must eat a lot because you wouldn't believe how much food we have, not just carrots. Dad kept talking about some baby named Cosmo who lived here at Thanksgiving a while ago. Cosmo this, Cosmo that, Cosmo was very funny. I don't know what he was doing here. I don't want to hear about him any more.

This morning Dad got up very very early while Mom was still sleeping and he carried me to the kitchen with him. I watched him make a pumpkin pie and an apple pie and they smelled yummy. But can I have any? No. I can't even have cereal yet. I bet he let Cosmo have pie.

After he took the pies out of the oven Dad took me to change my diaper and he said, "You would have loved Cosmo, Eliot. You two could have played together. He was about your age and such a cutie pie."

 _"_ _Cutie pie? That does it, Dad. You never call me cutie pie. Did Cosmo do this?"_

"Eliot! You little pisser!"

 _"_ _Ha! That's me, Dad!"_ I was laughing and laughing because I peed on him and he was really surprised. Then I kicked my legs a whole lot, too, so it took him a while to get my new diaper on. That was fun.

"I might have to tell Mom on you."

 _"_ _Go ahead. I bet you anything she'll laugh."_

And you know what? After that when he and Mom were having breakfast he did tell her, and she laughed so hard that her coffee came out of her nose! And some of it went on her shirt and she didn't even care.

Then both of them cooked and cooked and cooked. One of the things was a giant turkey and they stuffed all kinds of things inside it which I guess is why they called it stuffing. Anyway, in the oven it smelled as yummy as the pies but different. They were cooking for ages and I was pretty bored so I got to thinking about a new trick I have been practicing while they weren't looking and I decided to show them in a little while.

Finally Mom washed her hands and said, "Castle? Let's take a break. I could use a glass of wine."

"Now you're talking turkey, Beckett. I'll get it."

 _"_ _She's not talking turkey, Dad. Turkeys go gobble gobble gobble which you know from the book you read me, and that's not what she said."_

Mom took me out of my bouncy chair and we went to the living room where she put me on my play mat. I waited for Dad to come sit down with Mom. I was lying on my stomach and when I was sure he was paying attention I lifted my head up all the way by myself and looked right at him.

 _"_ _See what I can do, Dad? I bet Cosmo couldn't do that! So there."_

And Mom clapped and Dad got so excited about me holding my head up that he took his phone out of his pocket and made a movie of me and sent it to Gram and Granddad and Alexis even though they were about to come over and could see me do my trick in person. And for the rest of the day Dad never said anything about Cosmo.

It was almost time for Thanksgiving dinner. Mom and I were dressed up and she just putting flowers on the table when Dad came out.

"You set six places? There are only five of us eating. Unless you set a place for Eliot, which is adorable if impractical."

Mom smiled and said, "Nope. Surprise guest. I found out he doesn't have any family so I invited him."

"Who is it?"

 _"_ _Yeah who is it, Mom?"_

"You'll see."

Pretty soon the doorbell rang and we all went to answer it in case it was the surprise guest. It was! Dad opened the door and said "Perlmutter?"

 _"_ _My friend, my friend! Thanks, Mom!"_

"Please come in," Mom said, "and let me take your coat."

"I'll trade you for Eliot."

And he gave his coat to Mom and she handed me to him. And while we were walking into the living room I heard Dad say, "The baby whisperer?"

 _"_ _Aaaal ll eiieeeee!"_

"Thank you, Eliot. I'm very happy to see you, too."

 _"_ _Mom! Dad! That's exactly what I said to him! Doctor Perlmutter knows baby talk!"_

 **A/N** Eliot wishes you all a happy Thanksgiving, even if he is four months early.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

This started out to be the worst day of my whole life.

Dad tossed me up in the air this morning and said, "Yay! You're moving today!"

 _"_ _What? I don't want to move! Why do I have to move? I love it here. Where are you sending me, Dad?"_

I'm not a crybaby but I started to cry. And then Dad cuddled me and kept telling me everything was fine but how could things be fine if I'm going away? So I started screaming.

Mom came running in and when she took me from Dad and started rubbing my back I just cried harder. "What's the matter, sweet pea?"

 _"_ _If you think I'm sweet why are you making me go away?"_

"What happened, Castle? I've never seen him so upset."

"I don't know. I don't understand it. I tossed him up in the air, which he always loves, and told him he was moving today and he just burst into tears."

 _"_ _So would you if I sent you away."_

"Eliot, Eliot. Why are you crying? Aren't you excited that you're moving into your nursery today?

 _"_ _Wait, that's what Dad meant? I was so scared!"_

Then Dad kissed me on the head. "You're such a big boy now that you get to be in your own room with your giraffe and your elephant and all your toys."

"And you get to sleep in your beautiful crib, which is much bigger than your bassinet."

 _"_ _Booooo lalala dah!"_

"I think he cheered up, Beckett."

 _"_ _I did! I wish I knew how to kiss so I could kiss you, Mom and Dad."_

"I can't believe he's fifteen weeks old, can you? And for the last three nights he's slept for six hours without waking up? Heaven."

"It's a big day for him. And us. I'm going to miss having him right next to us, except when—""

 _"_ _Why are you whispering to Mom?"_

"Castle!"

"What? I didn't say anything out loud. Not to mention I know that you were thinking exactly the same thing."

"Okay. True."

 _"_ _What were you thinking?"_

Well, I give up. They never said and they just laughed. But I've decided that I don't mind because the day was already good instead of bad and it got even better later. Mom and I went upstairs to my new room and she got something out of the closet for me to wear.

"This is a special onesie for today. It's a surprise that I got for you and Dad. See?"

She held it up and it was red with a white collar and it had green writing on it.

 _"What does it say?"_

She put it on me and did up the snaps. "You know what it says? It says ELIOT ELF. Do you like it?"

 _"_ _Galala pooh gagaga!"_

"You're very smiley, so I guess you do. And you know what? Here's a red and white hat to go with it." And she put it on my head and tied it under my chin and I was an elf!

We went downstairs and there was Dad and he clapped when he saw us. "Oh, my God. Eliot Elf! Come here." He took me from Mom and held me up high. "You are the cutest! Beckett, where on earth did you get this? I can't believe it."

"Well, Castle, you're not the only one who knows a guy." And then she gave Dad that funny look that she gives him every once in a while.

"Eliot Elf, this is a big day for you for another reason, too. We're going to go on an adventure now, a special before-Christmas adventure. You ready?"

 _"I'm always ready for an adventure, Dad, just like you."_

"The car will be downstairs in two minutes, Beckett."

"The car? You ordered us a car? Why aren't we going in the subway? It'll be so much faster. The traffic is going to be horrendous with all the shoppers."

"That's why I'm letting someone else do the driving, to preserve my sanity. But you know we're gonna come home with a boatload of stuff, hence no subway."

 _"_ _A boat? We're getting a boat?"_

"Okay, point taken. Let's go."

Our adventure was in a huge store called Macy's. We got to ride on stairs that go up and down by themselves so you don't have to move your legs. I was very excited in my stroller on those different stairs.

"You like the escalator don't you, buddy?"

 _"_ _Yes! We should get one of these for our house, Dad."_

"Here we are, the toy floor. Hold on to your hats, boys."

 _"_ _I don't have to, Mom. You tied my hat on tight."_

"You know what I want to do first, Beckett, while I'm thinking of it? Get our present for Cosmo."

 _"_ _Him again? Dad! Why does he get a present?"_

"He's three years old now, a big boy. I often think about how frantic and heartbroken his parents must have been, not knowing where he was or if he was alive. Those days he was with us after he was left in that church? It must have seemed like an eternity to them. And he must have been so scared, staying with strangers. I'll never forget his mother's expression when she saw him again in the precinct. I felt something then, but now that we have Eliot it's more. You know what, Castle? Let's get him something extra special this year, from Eliot."

 _"_ _I didn't know that story, Mom. Cosmo got left all by himself? And didn't know where his Mom and Dad were? I feel bad now that I was thinking mean things about him. I'm glad you and Dad took care of him."_

Dad saw a present for Cosmo right away. It is so cool! It's called an indoor trampoline and he and his friends can bounce around on it!

"It's very safe and it's good for ages three to seven, Beckett, so he'll be able to play with it for a long time."

"And Eliot is smacking his hand on it, which is an important sign of approval."

So then we bought it and it is going to go right to Cosmo at his apartment, all wrapped up until he gets to open it.

"I'm going to go this way to look for T-O-Y-S F-O-R T-H-E E-L-F. I'll meet you at the appointed place in half an hour, okay?"

 _"_ _What are you spelling, Dad? Can I come?"_

"Dad has to do some shopping by himself, Eliot, so you and I will walk around for a while and look at all the beautiful decorations, okay? Dad will be right back and then we have a surprise."

It felt like he was gone for ages but we had fun and we went to a place where kids were in a line with their parents. I liked watching them. And then I saw Dad coming and he was carrying so many bags! "Ready, Eliot? We're going to see Santa! Santa comes down the chimney on Christmas and brings presents."

 _"He comes into our fireplace? Dad! He'll burn up! You have to remember to turn off the fire before he gets there."_

Pretty soon it was my turn to see Santa. He has a giant belly and a red suit kind of like mine and he smiles and says ho ho ho. But the most amazing thing about Santa is not that he brings presents. Wait 'til I tell you.

Mom and Dad took me right up to Santa and Mom said, "Would you like to sit on Santa's lap?"

And I did. And Santa said, "Hello, Eliot Elf, is that your name?"

 _"Yes. Oh you know because it's on my onesie."_

"We know he's awfully young to be visiting you, Santa," Mom said.

"Too young to be telling you what he wants for Christmas," Dad said. "But he looks very happy on your lap."

"Go ahead, Eliot, you can tell me what you'd like for Christmas."

 _"_ _Blll ah gabaaa."_

"Really? Anything else?"

 _"_ _Haaa nnnaaa mo do."_

And Santa looked at Mom and Dad and said, "He says he'd like a teddy bear and when he's three, a trampoline."

 _"_ _That's right, Santa! That's what I said! You are my new friend like Doctor Perlmutter!"_

Dad took a lot of pictures of me with Santa and then he and Mom said thank you and see you next year. And when we got a little way away, Dad said. "Wow. That's amazing."

"Not amazing, Castle, he must have seen us buying the trampoline."

"Nope. Magic."

 _"Yes, Santa is magic like Doctor Perlmutter."_

And then we went out and got in the car and Dad put all the bags in the trunk. And when we got home I was so tired and Mom and Dad took me upstairs to my new room.

"Time for a nap, Eliot. We're going to put you in your crib, okay? And when you wake up Dad and I will come right back and get you."

And they put me in the crib and said sleep tight. And then they went out into the hallway but before I went to sleep I heard Dad talking to Mom.

"Beckett, I have to go back to Macy's right now and get a teddy bear."

 _"_ _No, you don't, Dad. Santa's bringing it."_

 **A/N** Many thanks to reviewer JAG'ed Bones in the Casckett for suggesting that Eliot learn Cosmo's story.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N** Many of you said that you enjoyed seeing Perlmutter in chapters 8 and 9. I developed such a soft spot for him that I've written a one-shot about his backstory. If you're interested, it's "Lost and Found."

 **Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Dad was kind of cranky this morning, even though he was eating waffles with chocolate syrup on them which is one of his favorite breakfasts. "What are you two going to do today, while I'm stuck in that titanically boring eight-hour marathon with marketing and publicity?"

"Oh, maybe some Christmas shopping," Mom said. "Gonna meet Alexis for lunch. You know, things like that."

"You're going without me? I can't believe it. I'm the guru of Christmas shopping, Beckett. I have a black belt in Christmas shopping. I love Christmas shopping."

Mom put her coffee mug right down and wiggled her finger at Dad. "I don't think gurus have black belts, Castle. Even if they did, you couldn't come with us because we're shopping for you."

Then Dad looked happy instead of cranky and squirted a whole lot more chocolate on his waffle. "Oh well, then, that's different. Shop away." And then he licked all his fingers and kissed Mom and me and said bye he'd see us later.

But you know what? As soon as Dad left Mom called Alexis up.

"If your Dad asks, you and I had lunch today at Community Table, okay? I have to pick up his Christmas present and it's complicated. It's going to take a while and I don't want him to know." Then Alexis must have been talking because Mom didn't say anything for a while. "No, I'm not telling you. No. Absolutely not. Your father will worm it out of you." She was quiet again for a little bit. "Nope. Thanks for covering for me, though."

 _"_ _Alexis has a worm that Dad is going to get? Why does he want a worm? I thought only birds like worms."_

Mom ran up the stairs with me and got me dressed fast. "I had to make up a story for Dad so that he wouldn't know what we're really doing today. I already got his Christmas present, but it's a really big surprise and you and I are going to drive out to the Hamptons right this minute to fix it for him, okay?"

I especially love going in the car when Mom drives because she does a lot of cool stuff and she can pass other cars like crazy and she plays all kinds of different music. But today she was singing along very loudly with something on the radio that was horrible.

 _"_ _I don't like that song. I don't want you to kiss Santa. You should kiss Dad. And I don't want you to tickle Santa under his beard like in that song."_

She kept on singing it, so I decided to make a lot of noise.

 _"_ _PPPFFF NAH NAH NAH."_

She looked at me in the mirror for a second but then she started singing again. I had to take drastic measures. That's something I learned from Gram. Drastic measures. It's what you do when you really hate something. So I screamed as loud as I could and tried to look cranky like Dad did this morning.

Mom looked at me in the mirror again. "You don't like this song, Eliot? Want me to stop?"

 _"_ _Yahyahyahyahyah."_

"Sounds like you mean business. I won't sing it anymore."

I waited for her to look in the mirror again and when she did I smiled my best smile.

When we drove up to our house there was a truck in the driveway and two men were inside. Mom got out of the car, so the truck guys got out, too.

"I hope I haven't kept you waiting."

"No, ma'am," one of the men said. "We just got here. Do you need a few minutes to get ready for us?"

"Nope, come on in. It's so cold, can I make you some coffee?"

"Those are magic words. Thank you."

 _"_ _That's what Mom always says about coffee. It's magic."_

The two guys were carrying a long package all wrapped up in bubbly stuff and after we got our coats off we all went to the room at the back where there are a lot of games. It looked different than when I saw it before because someone had made a big empty space on the floor that was the same shape as the package. "I'll leave you two to it. Eliot and I will be back soon with your coffee. Holler if you need anything."

She made the coffee right way and we took it to them, but then we went back to the living room. The guys didn't holler, but whatever they were doing was so noisy that we had to move to Mom and Dad's room in the other end of the house. She read while I was on my play mat, but I fell asleep. I woke up because I heard one of the guys call Mom's name, and she scooped me up. We followed him back to the room with the games and whoa! It was the piano in the floor like at FAO Schwarz. Mom clapped and I tried to clap and the two guys looked so happy.

"This is fantastic. My husband is going to flip out. It's his Christmas present."

 _"_ _You mean it's staying here? Wow! This is the greatest surprise ever, Mom."_

"Would you like to give it a try?"

 _"_ _Yeah, Mom, do it!"_

"You know what? You two did all the work. Why don't you try it first? It's harder than it looks, but it's so much fun."

"Really?"

"Really. Go ahead, music men."

They got on and they looked at each other. And then they said one, two, three and started going and it was 'Chopsticks'! Just like Mom and Dad and I played in the store. When they finished they were bending over and laughing and breathing loud.

"That was awesome," one of them said.

"Wait 'til you see this," Mom said. She passed him her phone because she secretly a made a video of them on the piano in the floor. "Go ahead and email it to yourselves. You should have it."

They said thank you and were picking up their tool bags when Mom said, "Would you mind returning the favor? It will take just a minute."

"Not at all."

"Here's my phone again. If you could just start the video when I nod my head?"

"Sure."

Mom held me tight and got on the floor piano. And then she nodded and started to go up and down those keys, and at the exact same time she was singing, like she did in the store but a different song.

"We wish you a Merry Christmas,

We wish you a Merry Christmas,

We wish you a Merry Christmas,

And a very BIG year!"

 _"_ _Mom! You made a joke! Because Dad said that movie he loved with the floor piano was called 'Big'. That's a good joke."_

We bowed and then she took my hand and put hers and mine on her lips and we blew everybody a kiss. We all went to the front door and Mom said thank you and gave the two men some money and then we all left.

While we were riding home Mom said, "What do you think, Eliot, is Dad going to like that?"

 _"Yayayayayaya!"_

"I think so, too. But remember, this is our secret, so don't tell Dad."

 _"Never! I will never tell the secret."_

When we got to the loft, uh-oh, guess who was already home?

"Hi, you two. Christmas shopping, eh? So where are the bags?"

"No snooping, Castle."

"I can't snoop since you're empty handed. Where did you hide my presents?"

"Not telling."

"What if I kiss you?"

 _"_ _Mom, yes, kiss him. Kiss Dad instead of Santa!"_

But before he could, she grabbed him and gave him the biggest smooch. "Still not telling." And she blinked her eyes at him and her eyelashes went fast. "But believe me, it's a biiigggg, biiiigggg surprise."

 _"_ _Mom! Don't give him a hint!"_

 **A/N** Many thanks from Eliot (and me, his translator) for all the reviews, follows and favorites. He loves them.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

"Two can play at this game, Beckett." That's what Dad said the morning after Mom and I went to the Hamptons. "Eliot and I are going out now to get your Christmas present."

Mom was putting stuff in the dishwasher and looked bored, but I'm pretty sure she was pretending. "Really? I'm surprised. I thought that you were the grand master of Christmas shopping. Emperor. El Primo. Figured you had it done months ago."

Dad moved me around a little bit in my carrier. "Yeah, well, I didn't say I hadn't already bought it, you know, picked it out, just that we're going to go _get_ it."

"Oh, okay. I like the subtle distinction. You boys have fun. Bring me back something good."

 _"_ _Dad always brings back something good, Mom, don't worry."_

"I heard that, Beckett. You chortled."

"Maybe. Off you go. If you don't come back with shopping bags I'll wonder if you found out where I hid your present."

Mom walked past us and Dad said, "See that, Eliot? That's called sashaying and seducing. Your Mom just sashayed seductively right out of the kitchen. I'll explain that to you when you're older."

 _"_ _Why can't you explain it to me now? I'm older. I'm almost four months old."_

He didn't explain so I guess I have to wait some more. Anyway, the place where Dad and I went to get Mom's present is a jewelry store called Harry Winston. A man took us to a special room and we sat down in a comfy chair like at home. I didn't know you could do that in a store.

"We sized this so it should fit your wife perfectly, Mister Castle. Of course if there's any problem at all we'll adjust later."

"Oh, it's spectacular. What do you think, Eliot? This is called a choker and it's made of rubies and diamonds."

 _"_ _Choker! You can't choke Mom!"_ I had to scream right there, even though it's not nice to scream in a store. I screamed so hard that the man jumped backwards and almost dropped the tray of other sparkly stuff he was carrying.

Dad rubbed his hand on my cheek right away. "No, no, Eliot, it's all right. This is just a necklace. A beautiful necklace for Mom, but a kind that's called a choker. It won't hurt her." And then he looked up at the Harry Winston man and said, "I'm sorry. I think my son must have been frightened by the word 'choker.' He's still a long way from talking but you should see how he reacts to all kinds of words. My wife noticed it early on, and I have to say it amazes me."

 _"_ _Dad! You understood me! That's the first time. Thank you. Thank you for explaining about the necklace."_

"Yes, well, my goodness. That was quite a, uh, startle response." He kind of coughed before he put the tray down on a table next to us. "You said that you wanted something else in addition to the ch— necklace, so I've taken the liberty of selecting a number of things that you might like."

"Look at all these, Eliot. What do you think Mom would want?"

I looked and looked and then I saw the best thing so I smacked it and it bounced right onto Dad's lap! _"Yayayayayayayaya."_

"The little fellow seems to have made his choice." Then the man went "heh heh" which sounded nervous to me. "He has excellent taste for someone of such a tender age."

 _"_ _Dad, don't say anything out loud, but this man talks funny."_

"That's my boy! I have to agree with him. Those earrings are perfect. We'll take them and the necklace, thank you."

Dad and I stayed there while the man went to wrap up the things for Mom, and when he came back he had a shopping bag. "Thank you so much, Mister Castle. It was a great pleasure."

"Oh, just a moment, please." Dad put his hand in his coat pocket and took out a plastic bag. "Could you put your bag inside this one?"

The man looked like he was going to faint or maybe throw up. "CVS? You want to put our jewels in a plastic bag from a pharmacy?"

That cracked Dad up. "That was quite a startle response from you. No, I'm doing it to throw my wife off the trail. I don't want her to have any idea where I've done her Christmas shopping."

 _"_ _You know what, Dad? You're as sneaky as Mom. But where are you going to hide her presents?"_

On the way home Dad said, "Once upon a time, before Mom and I got married, before you were even a twinkle in my eye, I bought Mom some earrings."

 _"_ _I was a twinkle? What's that? I don't think I was ever little enough to fit in your eye."_

"They were beautiful earrings, a present for Valentine's Day, but I never got to give them to her because I accidentally gave them to Captain Gates. But these are ten times more beautiful and she'll be extra happy that you picked them out." Then he looked out the window the rest of the way home.

 _"_ _Wait, how did you accidentally give them to Captain Gates? Aren't you going to tell me the rest? That doesn't make sense."_

He didn't tell me the rest, so that's another thing I have to ask when I can talk. When we got in the elevator in our building, Dad took me out of my carrier. "Watch this, Eliot. We're gonna play a trick on Mom so I can hide her presents. I'm going to lock them in the secret compartment in my desk."

As soon as we opened the door there she was! Dad wrinkled up his nose and handed me over. "Your son needs changing," he said and kept right on walking.

"Wow, thanks, Castle," Mom said and stuck out her tongue, which is not polite. She took me upstairs to change me.

 _"_ _I don't need to be changed."_

"Hey! This diaper is fine. Eliot, I think Dad just played a trick on me. Am I right?"

 _"_ _Yayayayaya!"_

We went down to the kitchen where Dad was getting a cup of coffee. "Back so soon?"

"What did you do with the CVS bag, Castle? Your no-need-to-be-changed son and I would like to know."

Dad took a sip of coffee. "Hmm?" Then he put his hand in his pants pocket and took out the bag, only it was empty. "Oh, you mean this? Right here. Did you want it?"

"Good thing you have to go to Chicago for the day tomorrow for that book fair. I'll have plenty of time to snoop."

"You'll never find it, Beckett."

"This place is big, but not that big. I'm a detective, you know."

"Still won't find it."

"Keep your phone on tomorrow. I'll text you when I find it. Attach a photo, too."

Dad just finished his coffee and didn't say anything.

The next day he had to go on a plane so early in the morning that it was still nighttime out. Later on Mom was feeding me in the rocking chair. "We're going over to Gram's because there are going to be some workmen here today, like there were at the Hamptons, remember? It will be kind of noisy so it will be hard for you to nap, and I don't want to be in their way. It's another surprise, but it's a surprise for you and Dad together, so I'm not telling."

I'm getting very excited about Christmas. I have a surprise present for Mom and Dad and Gram and Granddad and Alexis, too. I have been secretly practicing!

We had fun at Gram's. She loves to dance around with me. She calls me Fred Astaire, but I know she knows that isn't my name. When the workmen called Mom we went home so she could say thank you and then they left. I didn't see anything different so I don't know what they were doing all day long.

Mom was holding me on her hip and walking towards Dad's office. "I bet you know where Dad hid my present."

 _"_ _Mohooo lala."_

"I'm pretty sure you're in cahoots with him. You know what that means? That means you know the hiding place. But I'm going to tell you. I bet it's in the secret compartment in Dad's desk."

 _"_ _Oh wooohoh."_

"Here we are. Just for fun I'm going to open the drawer and put a little note in for Dad, okay? For evidence. But I won't open the compartment, I promise."

 _"That's_ _amazing, Mom. How did you figure that out?"_

Mom put me to bed by herself because Dad wasn't going to back until late. I wasn't asleep yet and I looked at the ceiling. It looked sort of different. I didn't know why.

And for the next couple of days everything was so busy because of Christmas coming. The thing I loved most was looking at our big tree which is sparkly like Mom's present. I got very tired with so many people around things going on. So many things I can't even remember. On Christmas Eve night Santa was coming so before I went to bed Alexis and I put some cookies and a glass of milk for him by the tree plus carrots for the reindeer. Alexis says they are very hungry from flying around all over the world.

When I woke up in the morning I made some noise so Mom and Dad would hear me on the monitor and come get me, which they did. The weird thing was it was so quiet outside when it has been such a racket out there lately. You know why? There was white stuff coming out the sky and going by our windows like rain only in shapes. Dad said, "It's snowing!" He wanted to go up on the roof in our PJs but Mom said no, no, no, n-o. Dad whispered "Later" to me.

When we came down the stairs, oh! you should have seen our living room! There were presents all over the place and stockings with things in them. We waited for Gram and Granddad to get here before we opened anything and luckily they came soon and everyone had breakfast. I won't tell you all the presents, just the main ones. And I'll tell you that Santa and the reindeer had their snacks and Santa brought me the teddy bear I wanted.

Everybody loved their main presents. Alexis got a trip to anywhere in the world from Mom and Dad. If they gave that to me I would go to the North Pole to see Santa but Alexis said she wanted to visit some place called Machu Picchu. Granddad got two tickets to every Yankee game next summer. He is one person but he got two tickets so I hope he'll take me sometimes. And Gram got something called a chaise longue which looks like a sofa only one arm fell off. She said she had wanted it desperately. Mom and Dad had hidden it in the guest room for a few days so she didn't know. The color of the material is turquoise which is Gram's favorite. You probably know that if you have ever met her.

After Gram's present Mom said we all had to go to the nursery. We went up the stairs and she asked Dad to carry me since she was holding two shopping bags. We all went in my room and Mom took two striped hats out of the first bag, a big one and a little one.

"Put yours on, Castle, and put Eliot's on him please. And read the tag."

"The tag says, 'For my two boys. I love you. Beckett/Mom.' These look like engineer hats, Beckett/Mom. What's RC&EB-C RR?"

Then she handed him a remote control like for the TV. "Everyone please back up just a little bit. Now, Castle press the green button on the remote."

There was a whirring noise and then a big square came down from the ceiling. That's what I thought I saw up there the other night! The square was attached to the ceiling with wires and it stopped before it got to the floor. And then everybody but Mom and me yelled at the same time, "TRAINS!"

Dad just stared and stared and finally he grabbed Mom's hand. "Beckett? You did this? How did you do this?"

"Yup. The Richard Castle and Eliot Beckett-Castle Railway. Well, I didn't build it, I just designed it. I found a woodworker who made it, all the tunnels and the trees and little buildings and things. They installed it the other day while you were in Chicago. Do you like it?"

You won't believe what happened. Dad cried. And Gram cried. They looked so happy but they were crying. Did you ever see that happen?

"Oh, Katherine, Katherine," Gram said when she hugged Mom. "Thank you, you Christmas angel."

Dad told Gram he wanted a turn and then he hugged Mom so hard and kissed her right in front of everybody. "This is better than the ones I used to watch at FAO Schwarz when I was a kid."

"Not better, but all yours, anyway. And made just for you and Eliot. Oh, here's something important." She picked up the other shopping bag that she had brought upstairs, a huge one.

Dad started taking things out and putting them on the train tracks. "Oh, my God, the engine, the coal car, the dining car, the observation car, everything. What do you think, Eliot? We are going to have so much fun in here, all the time. Wait 'til you see."

 _"I can tell, Dad. You're right, ours is better than the one in the store. Did you see that building there? It looks just like where we live. Here. Our building on Broome Street."_

"I know you're dying to play with them, but I have something else downstairs that I'd like everyone to see before they're sucked into the electric train vortex. And I think we could all use some coffee. I could, anyway."

When we got to the living room again Mom asked everyone to sit on the sofa and she picked up the remote control for the TV. "Castle, this is my present for you. It isn't here, which you'll understand in a moment, but I hope you'll like it. I hope everyone will like it. Will have fun with it. Assuming Castle shares it, of course. And then she turned on the TV.

 _"_ _Mom, it's us! It's the video of you and me on the floor piano!"_

And then it was just like with the trains, only this time everyone yelled "BIG!"

"How did you get that, Kate?" Alexis said. "I didn't know you could buy one."

"You could if you called FAO Schwarz when you heard they were closing and made them an offer."

That's when Dad laughed. "You did that?"

"I did."

"What if they'd said no?"

"I'd have gone over there. Badged them. Made sure they saw my gun."

"I can't wait to get out there. I'm going to take piano lessons. I'm gonna sign up right now."

Gram laughed and said, "That didn't work last time, kiddo."

"Last time I didn't have incentive, Mother." Then he leaned over Mom. "Now I know why I couldn't find my present. And believe me, I looked. I could kiss you for this, Beckett."

"I should hope so."

And he kissed her like he did upstairs and then because Mom was holding me I heard him whisper, "I will do way, way, way more than kiss you for this later."

And Mom whispered back, "I'm counting on it."

I still don't know what they're talking about a lot of the time.

I bet you think I forgot about Dad's present for Mom but I didn't. He gave it to her after everyone talked about the floor piano and watched our video some more. Dad went in to his office and when he came back he was holding the two boxes, all wrapped up, and a little piece of paper. He walked right over to Mom and held it up. "What's this, Beckett?"

"That's a Post-It, Castle. I'm sure you've seen one before."

"Not one that says 'Gotcha! December twentieth'."

"Told you I'd find it, Castle. But I didn't open the compartment. I would never spoil your surprise, even it it's a box of candy from CVS, which I'm hoping it's not."

"It's not. Half of me considered that you'd find it, but I knew you wouldn't open it."

"May I open it now? Them? It looks like two boxes."

Mom untied the ribbon and took off the paper and opened the box and there was the choker that won't hurt her. "Oh." She said like it was a long word, not a short one. And then she said, "Oh, Castle," and took the choker out. I don't get this, but she was like Dad, she was crying but happy. Do grownups always do this at Christmas?

"Would you like me to put it on you?"

Mom nodded her head and then he put on the necklace and she wasn't choking at all, she was fine. Alexis and Gram were oohing and Granddad said, "You look so beautiful, Katie, and that red is really wonderful on you. I've loved you in red since you were a little girl."

Dad had brought out a mirror so Mom could see what she looked like. She kept touching the red and white sparkly things. "It's gorgeous, Castle. It's so incredibly luxurious but so understated. Thank you. I can't believe it, really."

"There's another box."

"You shouldn't Castle. This is too much."

"Never. Besides, this is from Eliot. He picked it out himself."

"I'm sure you did, baby."

 _"I did, Mom!"_

"Not kidding. I'll tell you the story after you open the box."

When she saw the earrings she said, "Oh, these are beautiful. They're more beautiful than—"

"Than the ones that ended up with Gates? They are, ten times more beautiful, which is appropriate since you're ten times more beautiful than she is."

"Tell us how Eliot picked them out, Dad."

When he did they all laughed hard and when he told them about the CVS bag they laughed even harder.

"Talk about a Merry Christmas," Granddad said. "I wish I'd seen that guy's face."

So everyone had their presents, including me, I had a ton. But I had a Christmas present for everyone and I figured out how to tell them since they can't understand me. If I kick my legs and wave my arms around a lot, Mom always puts me on my plaY mat, so that's what I did. She went and got it and put me on the floor. I needed everybody to look at me at the same time, so I made my loudest happy sound.

 _"_ _AAAAHH EEE II ALLL ALAA!"_

It worked! Everybody looked at me so I looked at them and you know what I did that I'd been practicing in secret? I rolled right over from my tummy on to my back.

Mom said, "Look! He rolled over!"

And Dad said, "He flipped! He's our flipper! Look at you go, flipper!"

 _"_ _Flipper is a dolphin, Dad. I'm Eliot. Merry Christmas!"_

 **A/N** The jewels are real. You'll find them on the store's website in The Incredibles collection.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Hi, everybody, it's I, Eliot. I was going to say hi, everybody, it's me, Eliot, but I found out that that's wrong.

Yesterday one of our neighbors knocked on the door and said, "Hi, Rick, it's me." He wanted to ask Dad something about the building and they talked for a little while. Then the neighbor left and Dad went grrrrrrrr.

"I can't stand that guy, Beckett. He's so self-satisfied and he never shuts up. I wanted to stop him the minute he opened his mouth and tell him, 'No, Stuart, it's not me, it's I, you jerk. You graduated from an Ivy-League university, as you're wont to point out; did you not learn basic principles of grammar there'?"

"It's colloquial, Castle, no one speaks that way now."

"I know that. I understand that. It's just another blow to the heart, another example of the ruination of our beautiful language."

"It's the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue."

"Exactly! Well-put."

"I didn't put it, Alan Jay Lerner did. It's a line from a song in _My Fair Lady_. Might even be from _Pygmalion_ , in which case you should be thanking George Bernard Shaw."

"Since they're both dead and buried, I'll thank you, instead. Thank you, Katherine Houghton Beckett."

See, that's why I like to listen to Mom and Dad. They go back and forth like that all the time like that and they make me laugh, even if I don't always get it, which I don't. I have a whole lot more to learn before I can talk.

Anyway, hi, everybody. I have been saving up some questions to ask. Maybe some of you can help me, if you have time. I hope so.

What is a family tree? I know about an oak tree and a pine tree and a maple tree and an elm tree and a sycamore tree and a cherry tree and an apple tree. We see those in the park and Mom and Dad tell me what they are. I have never seen a family tree anywhere, but Gram talks about it. Does it grow a family, like an apple tree grows apples? I was thinking maybe a family tree is related to an apple tree because Gram looked at Dad and me the other day and said, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," and Mom laughed and said, "Not in this family, that's for sure."

Why doesn't everyone in the world speak the same language? Wouldn't that be easier? Wouldn't everyone get along better? There could be a big vote so everyone could decide what language we would speak. I bet Dad would vote for Russian because he loves it when Mom speaks it. He says she's very sexy when she does. I'm not supposed to know that.

Sometimes Mom and Dad put coffee in a Thermos bottle to keep it hot. Sometimes they put juice in to keep it cold. How does the Thermos bottle know whether it is supposed to keep something hot or keep something cold?

Why do people say "you're driving me crazy" if they're walking?

What is a vacation? Sometimes when Dad is writing a lot he'll say, "I really need a vacation." Why doesn't he go get one if he needs one? Other times when he's writing he says, "I really need a cookie," and then he goes to the kitchen and gets one. I guess there aren't any vacations in our kitchen.

If baseball players have to wear hats why don't soccer players have to? And why do I always have to wear a hat outside if Mom and Dad don't?

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I hear people ask that and no one ever answers the question. Doesn't anybody know?

Dad bought me a onesie that says "MY MOM IS A BADASS BREASTFEEDER." Mom said, "He is not wearing that in public." Why not?

Where are senses? Mom says, "I finally came to my senses and told him." Does everybody have senses? Do you have to look for them?

Why do people sing in the shower but not in the bathtub?

Dad is always telling Mom, "I really love those high heels." If he loves them, why doesn't he wear them? She wears his T shirts all the time.

If Mom and Dad can hear me on the baby monitor, why can't I hear them?

I just found out that Doctor Perlmutter and I have the same birthday. If we were born on the same day, why is he so much older than I am?

Gram was talking to a man on the phone the other day and he made her mad so she said, "I gave him a piece of my mind." Have you ever seen a piece of mind? Is it like a piece of cake? Plus if you're mad at somebody why do you give them something?

If we're supposed to wear clothes outside, why aren't we born with any?

How come we have two arms, two legs, two hands, two feet, two ears, two eyes and two eyebrows, but only one nose? Oh, and one mouth.

Why doesn't a caterpillar turn into a cat instead of a butterfly?

I guess that's all for right now. I have lots of other questions but I don't want to tire you out. I'm tired just thinking about them. So, this is I, Eliot, saying good night. I hope you don't mind if I say this is me, Eliot, instead, even if it makes me sound like that terrible neighbor. Mom said it's okay. Just don't tell Dad.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Yesterday was not a happy day. Until the end.

The first thing that wasn't happy was when Mom sat down with me in the rocking chair in the morning and tried to feed me. What happened then I didn't mean to do, I promise.

 _"_ _Ow. Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! It hurts!"_

"Ouch! You bit me!"

 _"_ _Sorry, Mom."_

She held me up then and put her finger in my mouth. "Oh, poor baby, I thought you must be getting a tooth. Yup, I feel something."

 _"_ _OW!"_

"You've been so fussy and drooly for the last couple of days. We're going to the kitchen to get you a nice cool washcloth to chew on, okay? I put one in the refrigerator yesterday when I had a feeling that tooth was on its way. That's going to help."

Dad heard me crying and heard Mom ouching so he came out of his office to see us. "Everything okay?"

"Eliot's teething, poor thing. I can see how swollen his bottom gum is right here in the middle. He bit my nipple, which, believe me, is no picnic. But I read about this, I just have to adjust the way I nurse him and it'll be okay for both of us."

She put that washcloth in my mouth and it did make me feel better. It's still sore but I am very excited about a tooth. I'm going to have teeth like everybody else! I don't know how many I will get. Does everyone have the same amount or different? That's another question for my list.

"Do you want me to cancel my thing with Alexis and stay here?"

Then the next bad thing happened. Mom said, "No, no, you go. We'll be fine. Besides, you need to have a good visit with Alexis, and as of next week you're going to be alone with him here, so you should take the opportunity now."

 _"_ _What? Dad is going to be with me by himself? Why? Where are you going, Mom?"_

"The time has gone by so fast, hasn't it? Our six months together, the three of us." Dad looked very sad.

 _"_ _We're not going to be together anymore?"_

I didn't think something could hurt more than where my tooth is coming, but it did. It hurt everywhere, even in my head where I think. And in the place on my chest where Mom kisses me and says, "Hello, my little heartthrob." Especially there. And I couldn't help it that I started crying harder than I did when I accidentally bit Mom.

"Let me comfort him, Castle. You go. I need some mother-and-son time."

So Dad kissed us both good-bye and he left. And it was just Mom and me in the bedroom.

 _"_ _Why are you leaving? You're not going to see us any more? What will happen? Where will I get my milk?"_

"Shh, shh, shh. Eliot, you and I are going to get on the big bed together and cuddle. And I'll tickle your tummy and you can roll over for me and show me all the other things that you can do. You can practice sitting up all by yourself the way you started to the other day. It's amazing that you can do that. I'm so happy that I saw you do that the first time. But now I have to go back to work at the precinct and I won't get to spend the whole day with you, not every day, anyway. But I'll see you in the morning before I go and I'll nurse you and get you dressed. And I'll see you when I get home at night and I'll feed you and we'll take a bath and read a story. And on the weekends we'll be together the whole time. And most days when I'm at the precinct Dad will be here with you and take care of you. You'll have great adventures and he'll Skype at lunchtime every day so we can see each other. I bet that you'll have so much fun with Dad that you won't even notice that I'm not here."

 _"_ _I will so notice."_

"And."

Then she didn't say anything, and you know why? Because Mom was crying. She was sad, too. But at least I felt better because then I knew that I will see her every day after all, even if it isn't the whole time, and she isn't going away except to the precinct. She was holding me on her chest so I patted her face because she likes it when I do that.

"Aww, thank you, my little heartthrob. I will miss you every minute, but I have to go to work and catch bad guys. That's my job and I really, really like it. Dad's job is to write and he really, really likes it, but luckily he can do that at home so he can be here with you. Some days he is going to come to the precinct to work with me, but you know Sarah who takes care of you when Dad and I go out? When Dad goes to the precinct with me, she'll be here with you. And then Dad and I will come home at the end of the day and all three of us will be together."

The rest of the day was okay even though my tooth hurt, but Mom gave me that cloth. And she got on the floor and played with me and later on Dad came home and Alexis and Gram came, too. And Alexis told me that when she was little like me Dad took care of her and they had a great time. Gram told us stories about when Dad was a baby. She said he was a little monster but he doesn't look like a monster to me.

This morning Dad came up to get me all by himself. He changed my diaper and my PJs and then he said, "We're going to let Mom sleep a little later because when she goes back to work in two days she'll have to get up early. Okay? And I have an idea for us to buy something right now for a surprise, and you're going to help."

 _"_ _Do I get to choose the surprise?"_

We went downstairs and Dad got his laptop and we sat on the sofa. "We're going to pick out a present for Mom. Something to use when she goes back to work. What do you think?"

 _"_ _Glagla ha nana."_

"What's that? High heels? We should get her high heels?"

 _"_ _That's not what I said, Dad. But you always want Mom to wear high heels. She says, 'Castle, you have a one-track mind,' but that's funny because our train has a lot of tracks."_

"Okay, that's settled."

 _"_ _No, it's not. I said you should get her a new car. I think you should because the one she drove in before I was born was so lumpy and bouncy and she should get a comfy car for work. And a new siren."_

"Here they are, Eliot. What do you think? They're high heels that look like police cars. Cool, right? They're called Hot on Your Heels Stiletto Police. See how the toes look like the front of Mom's car? And the little lights on the back? And the nine one one, which is the police phone number? And they're at least four-inch heels. They are so hot, so incredibly hot."

 _"_ _Dad. Why would Mom want hot feet?"_

 **A/N** Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. Eliot sends special thanks to the two guests and Moochiechat who answered a lot of the questions that he asked in the last chapter. He's pretty sure now that no one knows which came first, the chicken or the egg, since one person said chicken and another said egg. He says he might figure it out some day. He'll tell you when he does. Seriously. Also, thanks to temple01uk for the heads-up on those stilettos!


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

The minute Mom got home tonight, she said, "So, how was it?"

And Dad said, "You mean Three Amigos Day? It was incredible."

Amigos means friends, friends who are boys, and here's what happened on Three Amigos Day. Dad always says to start a story at the beginning, so I am.

We were in the kitchen in the morning before Mom went to work. I was in my high chair and they were eating breakfast. Dad said to her, "Who'd have thought it, right? Hell has frozen over. The cows have come home."

 _"_ _Cows came to our house? Where are they, Dad? Are we getting a cow for a pet? That's so great! Mooooo!"_

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Castle, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

"Very nice, Beckett, going all Shakespeare on me at seven o'clock in the morning."

"I'm really just agreeing with you. Yes, a year ago if you had told me that Perlmutter would come to our loft, spend Thanksgiving with us, for God's sake, charm our son as no one else has, and turn out to be someone whom I like and respect, I'd have carted you off to Payne Whitney. So yes, hell froze over. And you know what? I'm glad it did. He's a really interesting guy with a horrific past. If we can help him in even the tiniest way, I want us to do it. Plus, he's probably going a little stir crazy since his leg is still in a cast. It's great that you and Eliot are taking lunch to him. I promise that you'll have a good time. I promise."

 _"_ _We're going to see my friend? I get to talk to Doctor Perlmutter?"_

 _"_ _Weeelaladah!"_

"Well, at least one of us is excited about it."

"Castle!"

"I know. I know."

I was so happy that we were going to see Doctor Perlmutter, but I don't like that something sad happened to him. Dad looked very serious so I decided to be quiet and just listen to him and Mom. "It's been weeks since you told me, but I'm still trying to come to grips with what happened. How did he even get out of bed every day after that?"

"I don't know, Castle. I really don't. He's an incredibly strong man."

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you for ages. About Perlmutter coming to Thanksgiving. How did you know he had no family?"

Mom made a face and put down her coffee so I could tell that she was serious, too. "You remember right before that, when we took Eliot to the precinct for the first time? Perlmutter gave Eliot the book and they took to each other instantly?"

Dad smiled, so that was good. "Unforgettable. Locked in my memory bank in the most-astonishing-things-of-all-time folder."

"Well, right after that I did something I shouldn't have. Call it a perk of Captaincy, even if it isn't. I just had a hunch, so I looked at his personnel file and saw that he had no next of kin. I didn't know the rest, of course, until he told me. But his file is also where I found out that he and Eliot have the same birthday."

Mom left after that. I took a nap and Dad wrote and then I sat in the kitchen with him while he made lunch to take to Doctor Perlmutter's. Dad put the food and a lot of stuff for me in the car and then we drove to a whole different part of New York. It's not like our neighborhood at all. This doesn't sound nice for me to say but this neighborhood is very boring looking. But not when Doctor Perlmutter opened his door!

"Hello, Castle, hello Eliot, please come in. It's very kind of you to bring lunch for us." The inside where he lives is so cool. It has lots of colors and a big rug that I can crawl on. And lots of books like we have at home only his start right at the floor so I could see them and I bet I could pull some off the shelf which is fun to do even if I don't like the books because they don't have pictures.

Then I saw that Doctor Perlmutter had a funny thing around his leg and he clomped when he walked.

 _"_ _Mipap wo?"_

"Yes, I hurt my leg, Eliot."

 _"_ _Dgg rorororo mananna?"_

"This is called a walking cast, and it helps make my leg better and strong again."

 _"_ _Whah hu?"_

"No, it feels fine now. Pretty soon I won't have to wear the cast anymore."

While my friend and I were talking Dad was bringing everything in like my toys and setting up my play yard. "This should keep him from wreaking havoc in your living room. I'm going to put him in it so I can take care of the food, if that's all right?"

"Of course. And Eliot? May I get in there with you? I'll have to ask your father if he can help me get down on the floor, but we can play together while he's busy with lunch."

 _"_ _Ga bebebe stahhhh!"_

"Really? That's my favorite too."

Doctor Perlmutter turned around to Dad, who was being quiet. Which he almost never is. "Castle? May I trouble you for some assistance here? Or do you need to me to show you things in the kitchen first?"

Dad coughed. "Of course, oh. Yeah, here, let's do it. I'm sure I can find everything and if I don't I'll just ask."

So while Dad was cooking Doctor Perlmutter and I were in my play yard. His legs were sticking out in from of him just like mine do, only longer. He told me about his pet parrot he had when he was a little boy.

"He was a great talker, Eliot, just like you. He could imitate lots of sounds, so I taught him to say my dad's name, only it sounded just like my Mom. The bird would say 'MURRAY' and Dad would come looking to see what she wanted. But it was the parrot!"

 _"_ _Could you help me do that when I'm bigger?"_

"I don't know why not. It would be our secret."

 _"_ _Yeah! And we could teach the parrot to say 'CASTLE' or 'RICK' because Dad has more names. That would be a good trick, wouldn't it?"_

"A great trick. You are the trickster."

Then lunch was ready so Dad helped Doctor Perlmutter get up and he carried me to the kitchen table where he had put my seat that clamps on. I liked looking out the window which you can't do at home. Dad made something called linguine with clam sauce, which is really noodles with things on top of them.

"This is delicious, Castle. What kind of wine did you use?"

"A really nice Pinot Grigio."

"Did you make the linguine yourself?"

"Yeah, Beckett gave me a new pasta maker for Christmas."

"Much better than mine."

"Well, speaking of gizmos, Perlmutter, that three-bladed spiralizer of yours looks amazing. Should I get one?"

"Definitely. I use mine all the time. You could make this dish with spiraled zucchini in the summer, very light."

They finished that and then Dad got the cheesecake he'd made and cut two pieces. "Perlmutter. Sidney. Kate told me about your wife and daughter. To say that I'm so sorry is completely inadequate. It, it makes your, um, your—"

"Carapace?"

"Exactly. It makes your decision to construct a carapace around yourself completely understandable. But when I see you with Eliot I realize what a hell of a father and a pediatrician you must have been. It's like you understand him."

"I do."

 _"_ _He does."_

But to tell the truth, which Dad says you always have to do, I was getting pretty bored with them talking about food and things since all I had was a bottle of Mom milk, so I finally said something.

 _"_ _Rohh bbbbuh mah ninini."_

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not being a good host. You're right, Eliot, maybe we could talk about something you like, too. Do you have any ideas?"

Dad coughed and had to get up for a minute. He does that a lot when Doctor Perlmutter and I are talking.

 _"_ _Am rkk a."_

"Okay, animals. Do you like animals, Castle?"

"I love them. And you know what? I have a thought. If you don't mind us being on the floor but not in the play yard?"

"Of course not."

And then, guess what? All three of us got on the rug. Dad was on his hand and knees and snorting and oinking and made his nose snorfle and we all laughed because he was the best pig! And then Doctor Perlmutter made ears out of his hands and made his teeth show and he was going hee-haw, a donkey! And they went back and forth like that being a dog and a giraffe and a horse and a rabbit and a mouse and the best was when Doctor Perlmutter was a monkey and was scratching Dad and me on the head and squeaking. He looked like Curious George only funnier.

 _"_ _Skl fwt am rkk a eeeo?"_

"Animal jokes? I know tons of animal jokes. Here's one. What do you call a pony with a cold?"

 _"_ _Rclu?"_

"I know, I know! A little hoarse!"

We all laughed and laughed and I fell right over. Dad said, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I don't know, Castle, why did the chicken cross the road?"

"To see Gregory Peck!"

I didn't get that one but Doctor Perlmutter laughed until he spat up a piece of clam and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know this was a shell game," and then he and Dad laughed so hard that I didn't care that I didn't get it.

When Dad started crawling around and roaring like a lion and waggling his butt like he had a tail, Doctor Perlmutter said, "Your Dad is funny, isn't he?"

 _"_ _Phhowa ba da!"_

"Good one, Eliot!"

"What did he say Perlmutter?"

"He said, 'You're not lyin'!"

"That's my boy!"

"Castle?"

"Yes, Perlmutter?"

"How much Pinot Grigio did you use in that clam sauce, anyway?"

"I'd say exactly the right amount, whatever it was, wouldn't you?"

"Not zoo much, not zoo little."

I never saw two grownups laugh so hard. They were so funny! And then we all got on the sofa and fell asleep, all three of us. Later on, when we were leaving, Dad shook Doctor Perlmutter's hand. "Think we still need to grouse at each other at crime scenes and the morgue?"

"At least for a while. We have our reputations to maintain."

Doctor Perlmutter kissed me goodbye and told me to take good care of my Dad. And we went home.

Dad told Mom all about our afternoon. And all of a sudden he jumped up and said, "I have to go order him some onion goggles. He doesn't have any."

"Hard to believe, Castle," Mom said, and she winked at me. And she leaned over and whispered, "Thank you, Eliot."


	16. Chapter 16

The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Do you remember a while ago when I told you about Dad eating Cap'n Crunch and how I couldn't wait to get to eat cereal? I finally got to have it last week and here's my question. Why I was so excited before? I hate it. It's horrible. I don't know about Cap'n Crunch, but oatmeal? Ugh. Double ugh.

Gram was at our house for dinner and Mom said, "Martha, what was Castle like when you first gave him food? I mean solid food, not just milk? I'm starting Eliot on it tomorrow, cereal, and I don't really know what to expect."

"Well, darling, you know, he was much younger than Eliot when he began because I didn't breast feed him."

"Really? Well, that expl—"

But Mom didn't get to finish whatever she was going to say because Dad put his hand right over her mouth. "Don't even go there, Beckett."

 _"She's not going anywhere, Dad. See? She's sitting right next to you at the table."  
_

"It was a different time. Also, because I was a single parent and an actress, I found it almost impossible to breast feed him. Anyway, as for food?" Gram laughed and tipped her glass of wine towards Mom. "Do you even have to ask? That boy would eat anything from the get go."

Then Gram and Mom kind of snorted and Dad rolled his eyes which was funny because Mom is usually the one who does that. And I was still excited about getting cereal.

Until the next morning. Mom mixed a little milk in with the oatmeal for me. "Castle, you have to take a picture. This is a big day, Eliot's first food! Are you ready?"

"Yup. Doing a video."

So she gave it to me and you know what? I spat it right onto my highchair tray.

 _"Eliot's first food is Eliot's first phooey! Yech. Don't make me eat that."_

"Come on sweetheart, try some."

 _"Nonononononononono."_

I pushed it right away. Then they traded places so Dad could feed me.

 _"Nononononononono._

I put it in Dad's hair. He hollered.

The next day they brought out that stupid cereal again, but I just kept my mouth closed and they couldn't make me open it. So there.

Same thing the next day. Mom went first.

"Look, little bird, watch me. I'm going to taste it. See? It's yummy!"

 _"I'm not a bird, I'm Eliot."_

Then Dad tried it. He made a funny brrr, brrr, brrr noise and stuck his arms out and said, "Look, Eliot! Look up here! It's an airplane."

 _"You can't fool me, Dad. I know what an airplane looks like, remember? We went on one to Chicago. That is not an airplane, that is cereal."_

Mom and Dad had an argument about where I got my stubbornness but I didn't say anything.

"I have an idea, " Mom said. "I'm going to mash up a couple of peas with it and try again." So she did and then she put it down in front of me. It was all green and mushy. And then I got my own idea! I let her put it in my mouth but then I put my hand in there and took out the goop and put it on my face.

 _"You think it's cereal, but it's snot!"_

What do you think of my joke? Isn't it funny? Mom said it was gross but I know Dad really wanted to laugh.

"Just think of it as adventures in fine dining, Beckett."

"Yeah, I'll remind you of that when he shoves a bean up his nose or throws some spinach in your ear."

 _"That sounds like a good idea, Mom. What's spinach? I bet it's fun."  
_

That was last week. I still don't like cereal but it's not too bad now that they put some applesauce in there it's okay plus wait 'til you hear what else I get to eat now.

Here are some things I like. Pears. Asparagus. Sweet Potatoes. Eggs. Cantaloupe. And spinach, which I did not throw in Dad's ear.

Here are some things I don't like. Zucchini. Tomatoes. Rice.

Mom said, "Castle, he should be eating a rainbow every day."

"Nothing red so far. Or purple. Won't touch 'em."

Well, I have been eating food for two whole weeks and nobody has given me a rainbow yet, not Mom or Dad or anybody. Alexis showed me one out of the window after it rained and I don't know how you would get it out of the sky and cook it, do you? How can you eat a rainbow?

Anyway, I want to tell you I have a favorite new food now. Favorite so far. It is mac and cheese! Dad and I like to have it for lunch. It is soft and gooey and I can pick up some of it by myself, I don't have to wait for Dad and the spoon. Like today, I think today was the best mac and cheese of all because Dad used another kind of cheese and it was great, but I think it made Dad not pay attention or something.

 _"I wish we could eat this every day, Dad."_

He was licking his fork and slurping. "I wish we could eat this every day."

 _"That's what I just said. But I bet Mom doesn't want us to eat it all the time."_

"We'd have to keep it a secret, though. I think Mom wouldn't want us to eat it all the time."

 _"I just said that, too, Dad. Is there an echo in here? Or did you just buy a parrot? That would be fun, but I'd like to have a dog. I could give it the oatmeal. Ha!"_

Just then Mom called to see how we were doing. And you won't believe this! Dad said, "Beckett, what would you think about getting a dog?"

Wow! Amaze balls, right? That's what Gram would say.

 **A/N** Eliot, the newly-minted gourmet, says, "Thank you for the wonderful reviews. Please don't tell Mom about the mac and cheese.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N** To the guest reviewer who questioned what Eliot is eating in the preceding chapter: he is eleven months old, so all the food is appropriate. Sorry that I didn't indicate his current age.

 **Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

The other day Dad asked Mom on the phone what she thought about getting a dog. I couldn't hear most of it, but once she said, "Castle, are you out of your ******* mind?" That part was so loud I'm pretty sure I got it. I'm not supposed to know ******* so I am not putting it here, just little marks that stand for the letters. Anyway, Dad held the phone away from his ear some of the time and made faces at me, so I guessed that she doesn't like the idea. But I do. And Dad does. Two against one, right? Shouldn't that mean we can get a dog?

The next morning Dad and I went to Barnes & Noble, which is a bookstore. First we went through the mystery section so he could show me his books, but I'm not sure why since we have the same ones at home. Then we went to a different section that had dog books. We sat in a big armchair and looked at them. My favorite had lots of different dogs with pictures of them. Dad read me about all the ones we liked, like Basenji which doesn't really bark.

"Great, right? So it wouldn't make any noise. But not so great if that means it wouldn't bark at a burglar. Though if any burglar were stupid enough to come to our house, Mom would take him down. So it wouldn't matter."

 _"_ _I like dogs that make noise, Dad. That's part of a dog, the barking. Unless it's mean. We wouldn't have a dog that's mean."_

"Oooh, how about this one, a Newfoundland? You could learn to walk just by hanging on to it. See how big it is? It weighs more than Mom."

 _"_ _It looks like a bear, Dad. Do we want a bear?"_

"Might be too big. A lot of dog to walk. And the poop, ugh."

 _"_ _Dad, that's gross. Let's find another one."_

We looked at more and Dad made a list of the kinds he liked and what was good about them. There were bad things about them, too, but he didn't write those down.

When we got home he told me that he was making "a full frontal assault, only nonviolent" about getting a dog. I'm not sure what that means, but I think it's that he's going to try to get Mom to change her mind.

"I'm going to make an extra-special dinner tonight, Eliot. Soften Mom up."

 _"_ _She is already very soft, Dad. I don't think she can be softer."_

"Nothing too heavy, since it's summertime. She does love salad. I'm going to make the greatest salad in history."

 _"_ _I've never had salad."_

"I'll make you something great, too. You're not ready for salad yet. Maybe it's time to start you on mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes and spinach and chicken which I'll put through the food processor."

Dad and I went to the farmers' market and got things for Mom's soften-up salad, and when we got home he cooked the things he had to cook for it, roast chicken and toasted almonds which is another thing Dad says I can't have yet even though it smelled so good.

He put a tablecloth on the table and fancy napkins and flowers from the farmers' market and candles and when he heard Mom coming through the door he fast, fast, fast lit them.

"Mmmm, something smells fantastic," Mom said when she came in the kitchen. She picked me up and gave me a smooch. "You are fantastic," she said to me, "and so is Dad for whatever it is he's made."

But when she saw the table she said, "Uh, oh. This means one of four things, in ascending order of importance. The dry cleaners ruined my favorite silk blouse. You and Eliot got into some kind of trouble. You suddenly have to go on a long book tour. Or, and this is the biggie, you're trying to get me to do something I don't want to do."

 _"_ _Dad! Mom read your mind! She's so smart."_

"Um." Dad's eyes got big and Mom's eyes got small.

"Castle?"

"Uh. Okay, you got me. But I think you really do want to do it. You know, underneath. Deep down."

"Some soul-deep part of me wants me to do something against my will?"

"No, no, you just think it's against your will."

"Oh, boy, this is going to be good. Go ahead. Lay it on me."

Dad looked over at me. "Woof?"

That made me laugh! And when Mom looked at me I laughed some more.

"Woof, huh? You two ganging up on me about getting a dog?"

"A boy and his dog, Beckett. How can you not see the beauty of that?"

 _"_ _Yeah, Mom. What Dad said."_

"And you're always saying that I have puppy-dog eyes, so doesn't that inevitably lead you to conclude that it would be nice to have actual puppy-dog eyes in the family?"

Mom sat right down at the table. "We are not getting a puppy. We are not housebreaking two creatures at once."

 _"_ _Do you mean me, Mom? I didn't break our house."_

Dad sat down next to her and took her hand and said, "We don't have to get a puppy, we'll get a dog. Already housebroken. Knows how to walk on a leash. Easy-peasy."

Mom made one of her huge sighs where the air comes out of her mouth. "Okay. But no fancy breeders, no pet shops, no puppy mills, and no huge, slavering beasts. We need to get a rescue dog."

 _"Yay!"_

Dad was so excited and he kissed Mom very hard and afterwards they both needed to breathe.

"I'm slavering over you Beckett. But you won't be sorry about this, I promise. And I have a great idea about—"

"Can your great idea wait until after we eat? I'm starving."

So Mom and Dad ate a giant salad which she said was the best one ever and I got to try mashed potatoes which I loved. As soon as we finished, Dad showed Mom his list about dogs and then he told us his great idea.

"Right around the corner from here there is a small no-kill shelter for dogs and cats, did you know that? I checked them out and they have top ratings. You have tomorrow off. Can we go there in the morning? Please? Please? See how happy our son looks?"

I smiled my best smile so Mom would know I was happy.

"You owe me for this, Castle."

"Anything. I'll do anything."

"Good, because I have some suggestions for later this evening."

I don't know what suggestions are and I didn't find out because Mom took me up for a bath then. And she read me a story and I went to sleep.

The next morning we went to the cat and dog place. Dad wasn't kidding, it's right around the corner and I bet I've passed it a million times in my stroller. We looked at the pictures of all the dogs who live there right now and want to be adopted and you know what? We all liked the same picture!

"He's a long-haired dachshund," Dad said. "Very handsome fellow."

"How old is he?" Mom asked the lady who was helping us.

"A year and a half. The family who owned him moved and and their new building doesn't permit dogs. They were broken-hearted, but had no one with whom they could place him. They brought him to us since they know we screen very carefully and we also never euthanize a healthy animal. I'm sure you must be concerned about Scrapple's behavior since you have a little one. The couple told us that he was wonderful with their two children. Very playful and very protective of the kids. He's healthy and of course up to date on his shots."

"What do you say, Beckett, shall we meet him?"

Mom nodded yes and the lady told us to wait while she went upstairs to get the dog. She was carrying him and he was wiggling all over. His hair is the same color as Gram's and very soft. I got to pat him right away. And he's low to the ground like me, not tall. He's just the right size.

The lady put a leash on Scrapple's collar and told us we could walk him around the block and we did.

"We could get him a carrying case for the subway. He's small enough. And he could ride in the cabin with us in planes." When Mom said that we were only halfway round the block and when she was looking at Scrapple Dad secretly gave me a high-five.

We got back to the place which also has a store for things that dogs and cats need. Mom asked if they had a carrier for Scrapple and the lady said yes. But it turned out we couldn't take him home with us because the lady had to check our references. I don't know what those are, maybe like suggestions. She said she was sure that it would be fine and she would call.

I was sad that Scrapple didn't get to come home with us because he was already my friend. When we got in the elevator Dad said, "Admit it, Beckett."

"What?"

"You're smitten."

And Mom leaned against Dad's shoulder and said, "I am."

I didn't have to be sad for too long because the next afternoon the lady called and we went and got Scrapple. In the store part we got him a bowl and a new collar and leash and a bed and a carrier.

"Castle? I'm imposing a toy limit. Five. Got it?"

"Got it."

So Scrapple has toys like me. By the time we got home it was almost my bedtime so I didn't get to play with him very much.

In the morning he sat right by my high chair while I had breakfast.

 _"_ _Hi, Scrapple, do you like oatmeal? It's really great. I'll share mine with you if you want."_

 _"_ _I've never had it before."_

 _"_ _Hey! You know what I'm saying? And I can understand you, too."_

 _"_ _Of course I do. You gonna let me try that oatmeal, Eliot?"_

 _"_ _I have to wait 'til Dad isn't looking. Okay, are you ready?"_

And I pushed it right on to the floor and he ate it! And he licked his mouth afterwards.

 _"_ _Thanks. That was tasty."_

 _"_ _Good dog. Don't tell Dad!"_

 _"_ _Wouldn't dream of it."_

Now we have had him for three days and Scrapple and I talk to each other all the time. When Mom came home tonight we were playing on the floor.

"Look at those two," she said to Dad. "Are they having fun or what?"

"You're not going to believe it, but I swear they're talking to each other. It's like Eliot with Perlmutter. Maybe we should call the dog Sidney."

 _"_ _We do talk to each other. But my name is Scrapple."_

 **A/N** Thank you very much for your continuing enthusiasm for Eliot  & Co. Scrapple says arf!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Yesterday Mom and Scrapple and I were the only ones at home. Dad was at a conference in Seattle, which is a long way away, and Gram and Alexis were in the Hamptons. Mom was sick. I never saw her be sick before. I didn't like it. My sitter, Sarah, couldn't come over to help because her sister in Philadelphia had a baby at two o'clock in the morning and Mom told her it was much more important for Sarah to go see the baby than to come here.

"This is going to be an exciting day for you, sweet pea," Mom said when she was feeding Scrapple and me some breakfast. "Your friend Perlmutter is going to come and get you and take you to his house and to the park. You get to spend the whole day with him. And if I'm still sick later on, Gram will come back and take care of you."

 _"_ _Can Scrapple come with me?"_

 _"_ _Who's Perlmutter?"_

 _"_ _My other best friend besides you."_

We had just finished when Doctor Perlmutter knocked on the door and we went to let him in.

"Perlmutter. Sidney. I can't thank you enough for this, especially since it's your day off. You're my hero."

 _"_ _Mine too!"_

"It's my pleasure, Kate, you know that. And who is this handsome redhead? Could he be the famous Scrapple?"

 _"_ _Yup, that's me."_

"Pleased to meet you, Scrapple."

 _"_ _Same here, Doctor Perlmutter."_

"I'm stunned that he didn't bark at you. He's usually very noisy when a stranger comes to the door. Could I get you some coffee before you go?"

"No, I'm fine. You should go back to bed."

"Okay, well, I think I've got everything you'll need stowed in the stroller basket—food, bottles, diapers, baby wipes, sunscreen, change of clothes if he needs them, his bear for nap time, some books. Oh, and his hat."

"What about things for Scrapple?"

Mom looked very surprised. "Scrapple?"

"You did want me to take him, didn't you?"

"Oh, no, really, I couldn't impose. You're already doing so much. I'm not so sick that I can't totter out to the corner with him later."

"Nonsense. You look quite green around the gills, if you'll excuse my saying so. I'd love to have both of them. Eliot and Scrapple and I will make a formidable trio. A new variation on the three musketeers."

"Okay, you twisted my arm."

 _"_ _Doctor Perlmutter would never hurt your arm, Mom, he's our friend."_

 _"_ _I think that's just an expression, Eliot. It's fine."_

"Glad I could persuade you. So, anything for Scrapple?"

Mom called Scrapple and they went to the hall and she put on his leash and then she put the ball and some dog biscuits and plastic bags in with my stuff and buckled me into the stroller. "You should be all set, Sidney. Thank you again. Call me if you need me."

Mom kissed me and patted Scrapple. "You be good, boys."

 _"_ _We will, Mom."_

 _"_ _We will."_

When we got in the elevator Doctor Perlmutter said, "So, Scrapple, how do you like your new home?"

 _"_ _I love it. And there's so much room."_

"You have a great new family, too."

 _"_ _Yup, I'm a lucky dog."_

"You are a lucky dog. And I think we're going to be good friends."

 _"_ _Doctor Perlmutter! You can understand Scrapple, too?"_

"Certainly I can. I'm fluent in baby talk and dog talk."

 _"_ _Oh, boy, this is going to be fun."_

We took a taxi to Doctor Perlmutter's apartment and before we went upstairs we walked around the block so Scrapple could pee.

"Scrapple, I hope you don't mind being left alone for a little while, but Eliot and I are going to the Central Park Zoo and dogs unaccountably aren't allowed. But we won't be gone long, and we'll have a good time together this afternoon at home. It's going to be very hot, so we'll stay indoors."

 _"_ _Why can't he go? That's dumb. The zoo has animals and Scrapple is an animal."_

"I agree, it's an idiotic rule."

 _"_ _Maybe Scrapple would like to see some of those different animals."_

 _"_ _I'll be fine. I can explore the apartment. And if anyone comes to the door while you're out, I'll bark so loud they'll run away."_

"Ah, an excellent guard dog. Thank you."

We went upstairs and Doctor Perlmutter put a bowl of water on the floor for Scrapple and told him to make himself at home. And then he and I went back out and he pushed me in my stroller to the zoo.

 _"_ _It's sounds like something's barking, Doctor Perlmutter. I thought there weren't any dogs here?"_

"Those are the sea lions, Eliot. Haven't you seen them before?"

 _"_ _I only came to the zoo twice and once it started to rain and the other time I fell asleep so Dad said we'd come back when it was nicer and when I was older."_

"Would you like to visit them?"

 _"_ _Yeah! I only ever saw them in a book. Dad likes to imitate them. They clap their flippers, right?"_

"They do. Let's go over."

The sea lions are the greatest animal I ever saw besides Scrapple. They swam and they played and made a racket. And then we got to see them have their lunch which is fish! They jumped right up and caught them when the zoo people threw them. Doctor Perlmutter made a video when I was watching and I clapped for them. He let me get out of the stroller for a minute, too. I can stand up if I hold his hand, which I did. We went around a little bit more to see some other animals but then we were hot and hungry so we walked back to Doctor Perlmutter's.

"I'm very glad you that liked the sea lions, Eliot. They were my daughter Abby's favorites when she was a baby."

 _"_ _You have a baby?"_

"I did."

 _"_ _You don't have her any more? Where did she go?"_

"She died. It made me sad to visit the sea lions because it reminded me of her, so I didn't go. But now I have you for a friend and it makes me happy to see you enjoy them. I think of Abby in a happy way."

 _"_ _Dying is when you don't come back."_

"That's right."

 _"_ _Mom's mom died. I'm sorry your baby died."_

"Thank you, Eliot. And now let's think of something nice, like lunch."

 _"_ _Good, I like lunch."_

When we opened the door, Scrapple was right there.

 _"_ _Welcome home. How was the zoo?"_

"We missed you, but we had a good time."

 _"_ _Especially the sea lions."_

Before we could eat lunch, Doctor Perlmutter said he had to change my diaper.

"I haven't done this in a long time, you know, but it's like riding a bicycle."

 _"_ _His diaper isn't like a bicycle at all!"_

"You're absolutely right, Scrapple. What I meant is that you never forget how to change a diaper, just like you never forget how to ride a bike."

 _"_ _I don't know how to ride a bike."_

"Not yet, but in a few years you'll be whizzing along on one and maybe we can take a ride together. We could go in the park, where it's much safer because there are no cars."

 _"_ _What about Scrapple?"_

"We could put him in a basket on the handlebars."

 _"Will I wear a helmet like humans?"_

"Of course. I think you'll look very dashing in a helmet."

After we had lunch and Scrapple had a biscuit we all took a nap. When we woke up Scrapple stretched and stretched. His body is very long.

 _"_ _It was nice to be on the sofa together, Doctor Perlmutter."_

 _"_ _Comfier than the floor."_

"You know, Eliot, you don't have to call me Doctor Perlmutter. That's so formal, isn't it? Do you want to call me Sidney? That's my first name, like your first name is Eliot."

 _"_ _I'd like to call you by another name. Could I make one for you?"_

"I'd like that. What do you have in mind?"

 _"_ _Let me think. I know! Docky! Because you're a doctor. Plus I like ducks and Docky sounds kind of like ducky. Gram calls me Ducky sometimes when I have a bath, so it would be a little bit like my other name, too."_

"Docky it is, then. You and Scrapple can both call me Docky. You know what? I never had a nickname before. So thank you."

Then we all played on the floor, and Scrapple chased the ball and all of a sudden it was time to leave. We walked around the block again and the doorman at Docky's building helped up find a taxi and we went home. When we got there Mom said she was feeling a lot better so Gram didn't have to come. Docky kissed me goodbye and said he'd see us soon and Mom said thank you, thank you to him.

It was suppertime then, so Scrapple and I ate with Mom and then she put me in the tub. Her phone dinged and after she put my PJs on me and put me in the crib she said, "Oh, look, Perlmutter sent me a video. It's you at the zoo, Eliot, with the sea lions. You look like you were having the best time."

 _"_ _I was."_

"Hmm, he sent a text, too."

She didn't read it out loud. But then she was crying and giving me a hug and a kiss.

"Sorry, Eliot, I'm crying. But I'm happy crying, so don't worry. Everything is fine. And you are a wonderful, wonderful boy. Night, night."

I listened to her walk down the stairs and I heard her say, "Hi, Castle," so she was calling Dad on the phone. And I'm pretty sure I know what Docky told Mom. I'm pretty sure he told her about his baby Abby who loved the sea lions, too.

 **A/N** Thank you again, everyone. Apparently there are many, many dog lovers in FF land!


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** The only part of _Castle_ that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

"You're a little chatterbox, Eliot, you know that? Dad and I hear you on the monitor all the time when you're supposed to be sleeping. You're just dying to talk aren't you?"

 _"_ _You said it. And I have a whole, whole lot of questions."_

"Who am I?"

"Mama."

"You ready to get up? Who else do you see first thing in the morning?"

"Dada."

"Anybody else?"

"Daw."

"Right, our dog! Scrapple. So, let's get you changed. You and I have to get going early because I'm taking you for your dental check up before I go to work. The first time you went you had only one tiny tooth and now you have eight beautiful white teeth. Your dentist will be amazed! We're going now instead of tomorrow because tomorrow is your birthday. You're going to be a year old, did you know that?"

 _"_ _Am I going to have cake? My own cake?"_

We went downstairs to have breakfast. I kept trying to share my fruit with Mom but she didn't want it. Dad loves it when I do that but he was still asleep. Scrapple was under my chair so when Mom wasn't looking I gave him the piece that she wouldn't eat. It was nice and mushy.

 _"_ _Cantaloupe! That's my favorite. Thanks, Eliot."_

 _"_ _You're welcome. Sorry I ate the rest."_

"Okay, melon face, I'm just going to wipe that juice off you and away we go."

We took the subway to the dentist who was very nice and liked my teeth, but when we got in the elevator to leave we went up instead of down because Mom said her doctor, the one who helped me get born, was right in the same building and we were going to surprise her and say hi.

"I want to pop in for just a minute and show Doctor Fisher and the other people in her office what a big handsome boy you are. They haven't seen you since you were a little bug."

 _"_ _I was never a bug. Ugh. Hey, Mom, I rhymed!"_

We only stayed for a little while and Mom talked to Doctor Fisher but she called her Lotte because she's her friend, like Docky is my friend. When we got home, Dad was up but he was still in his PJs. Mom said, "Up and at 'em, Castle, I gotta go. Love you." She didn't even get me out of the stroller but she kissed us both and ran to the elevator and then she stuck her head back out before the door closed and yelled, "Hey! Our son has perfect teeth!"

Dad and I didn't do anything special all day, which was yesterday, except for me practicing walking while I held on to his fingers. I am also secretly practicing some words but he and Mom don't know it yet. I try them out on Scrapple.

That night, last night, we were having supper and Dad said to Mom, "Remember what you were doing exactly a year ago?"

"Of course I do. I was praying that I would give birth instantly and effortlessly."

"No, I meant that you were insisting on shaving your legs even though your water had just broken. Your exact words were, and believe me, they are etched in my brain, 'I am not going into the delivery room with all those people two inches away from my hoo-ha without having perfectly shaved legs.' It was hilarious."

 _"_ _I remember that, Dad! But I still don't know what a hoo-ha is."_

"You didn't think it was so hilarious a few hours later when I was threatening your life."

 _"_ _You threatened Dad? What did he do? I don't remember that. That must have happened when I was working hard to get out."_

"Ah, a lovely trip down memory lane."

"And time for a little boy to go to bed. And when he gets up he'll be a year old. I can't believe it."

I can't either. No wonder I'm so tired. I've been very busy all year.

When I woke up this morning Mom and Dad came up together to get me and said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" really loud. Dad had a bunch of balloons for me and they reminded me of a question I've been wondering about for a long time. How do balloons stay up in the air by themselves since they don't have legs or wings?

That was my first birthday surprise. The second was that I got to eat my first waffle, which Dad made in something called a waffle iron. I have a question about that, too. Why is it called an iron if it doesn't make the waffle flat? An iron makes clothes flat. Pancakes are flat but waffles aren't. Anyway, I loved my waffle. It had something on it called cinnamon and I loved that, too.

After my waffle I got to open some presents, which were lots of T shirts because I'm crazy about T shirts. Dad held them all up and told me I could choose which one I wanted to wear this morning. I picked the blue one from Scrapple that says "No one understands me like my dachshund."

 _"_ _It's true, isn't it?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, Scrapple, you and Docky are the only ones who do, even though I know other people are trying."_

After Mom went to work, Dad and I went to the playground and I learned something about sand.

"Don't eat that, Eliot."

 _"_ _Why not? It looks good."_

"Gooh. Dada. Gooh."

"Put the sand down."

 _"_ _Ha, make me!"_ And I put it in my mouth. Uh-oh. Dad was right. It was horrible. It tasted worse than medicine so I had to spit it out.

"Now you know why I told you to put it down, don't you?" He cleaned my face and hands. "I have an idea. Let's make a castle."

 _"_ _I am a Castle, Dad. You are, too."_

He piled up some sand and patted it a lot with his hands and pretty soon it looked like a fancy building. And he put a stick with a leaf on the top of the building and said, "Ta da! There's the flag for our castle!"

So I guess there are castles that aren't us.

We went to visit Mom at the precinct and go out to lunch because it's my birthday. Mom has an office now, not just a desk, because she is the Captain. But you can still see everybody from her office and they can see her, which is good because they are all friends.

The best part of my birthday was after work, because Gram, Granddad, Alexis and Docky came over to have dinner with us and gave me presents, lots of books and toys. And I got a cake! We had two cakes because it's Docky's birthday, too, so he got his own cake but everybody had some of mine and some of his because they were different.

Docky told us that he bought something called a bicycle trailer. It attaches to his bike and Scrapple and I can sit in it and ride in the park with him until I am old enough to learn to ride my own bike. And you know what he gave me for my birthday present? Really two presents, for Scrapple and me. Bike helmets, one for a boy and one for a dog, so we will be safe when we ride in the bike trailer. Mine is blue and Scrapple's is yellow because Docky knows those are our favorite colors. A helmet is much cooler looking than a hat.

I got to stay up 'til everyone left and we waved goodbye at the door. Then Mom and Dad sat on the sofa for a minute with me and I was on his lap. "It's way past your bedtime, birthday boy. I'm gonna take you upstairs now."

Mom patted Dad on the knee and stood up. "I want us both to tuck him in. Can you wait here a sec?"

Mom went to their room and when she came out I could see she was hiding something behind her back.

"You remember those THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES nursing T shirts you gave me before Eliot was born?"

"You may have stopped using them a couple of months ago, but how could I ever forget?"

"Good thing I kept them." She took her hand out from behind her and opened it up. She was holding a plastic stick thing. "I have a little birthday surprise for you. Surprise for me, too."

And Dad's mouth went wide open and then he had a giant smile, which I thought was weird since all she gave him was a stick and it didn't even have wrapping paper and a ribbon. "Really? Are you kidding me?"

"Really. And I stopped in to see Lotte Fisher this morning and she confirmed it. Are you happy?"

Dad gave her the biggest kiss ever and he lifted her right off the sofa. "Oh, my God, I'm ecstatic. Stunned, but ecstatic. But how did it happen?"

"Seriously, I have to explain it to you? Remember Eliot?"

 _"_ _I'm right here, Mom. How could Dad not remember me?"_

"Two unplanned pregnancies, you'd think we didn't know any better. Oh, my little swimmers are champions."

"Yeah, well, before you dislocate your shoulder by patting yourself on the back, remember it takes two to tango."

"Oh, Beckett, if this happened when I think it did, we were doing a whole lot more than tangoing."

 _"_ _What are you talking about?"_

Mom and Dad put me in between them on the sofa. She looked at me and said, "Oh, baby." And Dad looked at me and said "Oh, baby."

And I decided that was a great time to show them what I had been practicing so they know I'm not a baby, even though they must think so since that's what they just called me. So I looked at them and patted my hand on my chest.

"Not baby. El-yut. El-yut. Me!"

 **A/N** So ends this story. I can't thank you enough for staying the course and being such terrific cheerleaders. I've marked the story complete, but I've learned never to say never…


	20. Chapter 20

This is why I never say never! I have begun a sequel to "Hi. I'm Eliot." The story begins three weeks after this one ends. Chapter one of "Hi. I'm Your Brother" is now up. I hope that you'll give it a try.


End file.
